Ted Haggard, Thy Name is “Pot”
(Reverend Haggard demonstrates what he likes to do with a penis... while on drugs...)One of the many reasons I’m going to Hell (none being that I am gay) is how much I enjoy when things like this happen. Ted Haggard, evangelical Christian and opposer of gay marriage, has been revealed as having paid for sex 36 times over the last three years. Oh, and the kicker? He was also using drugs.
Can we say “Delicious!”?
Teddy-boy does not believe in gay marriage, but hot man-on-(drugged) man sex is apparently being “faithful” to his wife and five kids. I love it when one can interpret vague passages in The Bible to condemn gay relationships, but when it comes to The Ten Commandments themselves—and in particular, the seventh—somehow there is ‘wiggle room.’ Where’s the tranny-hooker when you need one? I don’t think The Bible mentions tranny-hookers (the jury is still out on Mary Magdalene…)
What next for the good reverend? Does he come out—leaving the wife and kids? Will he be leading next year’s San Francisco Gay Pride Parade? I am sure Haggard will use the “I take full responsibility—but it was the addiction, not me” approach so successfully used by Mel Gibson and Reverend Phelps* is the biggest homo of them all? Honestly, no one thinks about gays and gay sex as much as that man—not even gays themselves. Seriously, I have better things to do with my time than to think about two guys screwing around… like thinking of three guys screwing around.**
I think we had better start looking for the next Haggard in politics, because you know they are out there. Start looking for those who bash gays the most and you are on target: Dubya? Maybe. Condeleeza? No, she likes Karl Rove? Something tells me he’s not just gay, he’s so anti-gay, he has got to be into some weird and twisted fetish-sex that I am actually salivating while I wait for that press release.
*I know what website I’ve linked to… and what I have not linked to.
** You knew that was coming, didn’t you? Of course you did—you’re smart.
Posts
5 comments:
C-H-R-I-S, don't go spreading rumours. He didn't have sex with the guy, he only bought drugs from him, and then he didn't USE them, gosh.
So, if he didn't use them, why is he in rehab? Hhmm.
P.S. Why are we wasting time on Teddy-boy when Doctor-boy Doogy Howser just came out! Lance Bass, Neil Patrick Harris, who will be next? Don't these things come in threes? God, I hope it's Sharon Stone.
As for Ted being gay "just a rumor": click this
Hey Chris,
Just stumbled across your blog and simply LOVE IT! You have a fasinating entertaining jounalistic style that I can only hope to achieve(someday when I grow up). I recently started my own blog, www.khudson.com/blog/ and although this is geared toward my quest to become a fulltime gay RV'er, I am striving to make the read somewhat entertaining as well. Your site is an inspiration. I have taken the liberty to add your link to my site and look forward to your future articles. All the best,Ken
You know what I think is really sad about this? Of all the things the Reverend did, having sex with another man is the worst of all. Not that he committed adultery. Not that he did illegal drugs. Not that he lied to his family, his church, and himself, but that he is a faggot. The one thing he cannot control, and the one thing that didn't hurt anyone else. What a messed up world we live in.
Post a Comment