Slap & Tickle

"And The Oscar Goes To..."

Time was, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences would post its nominations for the Oscars and I would scratch my head and note that I had missed seeing one of the films (on bad years, it was two!). This year I looked at the list and struggled to find one movie I had seen.

Eventually, I found it (Borat), but I did manage to see a few more, although my count is up to a paltry 10… (of which only four are in the total of 14 films in the top six categories).

That said, let it never be said that Chrismatica™ is not willing to compete for the glory of Oscar and the rewards that it brings (sadly, neither monetarily, nor socially). So here are my predictions for the 2006 Academy Awards:

Best Picture: The Departed. No one saw any of these films, but this is the one they say is the best. Possible Upset: Little Miss Sunshine… but I doubt it.

Best Actress: Helen Mirren. From what I hear, she’s running unopposed…

Best Actor: Forest Whitaker. Possible Upset for Peter O’Toole, because he looks like he’s going to die at any minute. Another possible upset: Ryan Gosling will be let in the doors of the Academy without being stopped. Who is he? Seriously, who the heck is this guy?

Best Supporting Actress: That American Idol chick…

[REVISED] Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin —he’s old Hollywood (well, old by today’s standards) and it was a great performance. Possible Upset: Eddie Murphy—as long as they voted before Norbit came out…

Best Director: Too bad Martin Scorsese is going to win for a picture that is not nearly as good as any of his other films. He got the DGA award, it’s a lock.

Best Animated Film: Happy Feet (it’s got a freakin’ message). Cars could upset it, because those guys in LA LOVE their freakin’ cars…

Best Documentary Feature: An Inconvenient Truth. Everyone wants to see Al Gore win something. Possible Upset: The one about The Holocaust (there’s always one… and it always wins…)

Best Foreign Language Film: Let’s go with Pan’s Labyrinth. That looks good (No one sees these things, so it’s all about looks/feel).

Best Original Screenplay: Little Miss Sunshine It’s not going to win Best Picture, so we’ll give it a “good for you!” award.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Notes on a Scandal Lost at the WGAs, but it’s very “writerly” and I think they are already tiring over The Departed winner two big awards.

Best Original Score: Tough one… I’m sure the most awful will win, whichever that is. Let’s go with Babel, because when I closed my eyes and poked at the list, it’s the one I hit.