Look at that sexy, sexy man! Whoo! You go boy!
No? You don’t think so? Tell that to the government who has found a man they are in love with. Someone who is taking the fall for every last terrorist attack of the last 15 years. Osama bin Who? Forget him. He was small potatoes. It’s all about their sexy boy-toy Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.
According to press releases, Khalid has “confessed”* to:
- 2001 attack on the US
- 1993 attack on the World Trade Center
- The beheading of Daniel Pearl (yeah, he did it himself…)
- Attempted shoe bombing of American Airlines Flight 63 from Paris
- Managing and following up on the Cell for the Production of Biological Weapons, such as anthrax and others, and following up on Dirty Bomb Operations on American soil
- Assassination attempt against Pope John Paul II while he was visiting the Philippines
Not widely reported are Khalid’s admitting to:
- Killing Anna Nicole Smith (“I am Dannielynn’s father…”)
- Introducing Tom Cruise to Scientology (“It was a joke… we were drunk”)
- The cancellation of Arrested Development (“More ‘The War at Home’! Fun-ny!")
- The election of George Bush in 2000 (“Ever see Katherine Harris and I in the same room?”)
- Produced Basic Instinct 2 (“What? I’m dating Sharon Stone!”)
And last… - The Planning for the Invasion of Iraq (“It worked perfectly from my end…”)
*Those bruises and scars were already there—I swear!
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1 comment:
hahahaha, this is such a funny post, Chris! Jesus, I'm so glad someone else thinks this "confession" is suspicious. I read today (Sunday) that the guy sentenced to death in Pakistan for killing Daniel Pearl is now filing an appeal based on Mohammed's admission. What a fucking mess.
"Introduced Tom Cruise to Scientology." So funny. But, hey, wait a minute, what's this dis of my Sharon? Now that's out of order, Mr. Lion! Unless "someone" "made" you write that, I want an apology immediately! :-)
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