“Let the Games Begin!”

With the opening ceremony for the 29th Olympiad of the Modern Era set to commence in Beijing just hours from now*, here are a few opening ceremonies/cauldron lighting moments from the last ten Olympiads (plus, London 1948 and a little bit 'o somethin' special).

7 Years in the making, 31 New Venues, 205 Countries, 10,000 Athletes; all intersecting at one amazing moment:



Athens – 2004


(The Giant Doobie)



Sydney – 2000


(Note: when the cauldron is shaking that’s the guys inside kicking the crap out of the thing to get it to move)



Atlanta – 1996


(Sniff.)



Barcelona – 1992


(Best. Lighting. Ever.)



Seoul – 1988



Los Angeles – 1984



Moscow – 1980


(Never saw this before… kinda glad I missed it.)



Montreal – 1976



Munich – 1972


(No actual video… just stills.)



Mexico City – 1968



London – 1948



BBC Grandstand for Atlanta


(Gone with the Wind, surprisingly “American”)



And a little Olympic eye-candy!


(hubba-hubba)


















*by now the cauldron is lit and everyone in China has gone to bed.

Olympic Countdown: One Day More!

With one day more to go, let's look at the fine gentlemen who play Water Polo. Yes, let's look... and drool.

Lose the hat... keep the ball.

Yes, please.

So... what's happening under the water?

Holy moly...

Woof!

He can grab ahold of me anytime!

What are they thinking about while playing with their mouths...

Huddle close boys!

Lemons & Sugar...

Someone sent me this and suggested this should be taped to my bathroom mirror where I could read it every day.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.


2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.


3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.


4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.


5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.


6. You mean the world to someone.


7. You are special and unique.


8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.


9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.


10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.


11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

'Whenever god closes one door he always opens another, even though sometimes it's hell in the hallway'

Happiness keeps you sweet,
Trials keep you strong,
Sorrows keep you human,
Life keeps you humble,
Success keeps you glowing,
But only friends keep you going


Sniff… pretty sweet, eh? But I’m not sweet. I’m lemony. I taste good, but there’s a bitterness there that is so intrinsic to my personality. So, I feel I must comment on the above. If you’re a sweet person—and I’m sure you are—read no further. Bask in the glow of the inspiring words above. If you’re an asshole like me, read on, bitches!

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for… and 10 others you would like to see dead.


2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way… but you have to pay them for it.
   
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you… or your an asshole. But keep thinking it’s their problem.


4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you… unless you have one of those creepy smiles that makes them feel uneasy.


5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep… and all the ways they want to kick your ass.


6. You mean the world to someone… Someone you couldn’t care less about, but it’s someone.


7. You are special and unique… Just like everyone else!


8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you… Which is why you shouldn’t post naked pics of yourself online.


9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it… Usually for someone else.


10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look… It’s actually attempting to hunt you down.


11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks… But if you forget them, you’ll won’t be able to get even with those bastards that made those rude remarks.

Happiness makes you soft,
Trials keep you strong,
Sorrows make you week,
Life kicks you in the ass,
Success is the best revenge,
But only friends test your patience in a way you wouldn’t put up with from a lover no matter how good the sex is… which means friends are good. See? I’m not such a rat-bastard after all. Just don’t ask any of my friends.

Wha...?

You know, everytime I think "Kids today... back in my day we knew a thing or two about subtlety and sex." Well, then I see things like this and realize that kids have been crazy all along:



Jill, since I'm not posting any hot women Olympic athletes as you suggested, hopefully, this will do.

Olympic Countdown: Two Days!


With only two days left until the 2008 Olympics, it's time to look at the grace, beauty, precision and hotness of the divers:

Such grace.

Look at that form...
(check out that package!)

Sweet!

Perfect alignment

Keep those toes pointed, ladies!

Awesome...

Is he supposed to look like that?

This doesn't look like it's going to end well...

Damnit.

I can't believe she did this... now I kind of like her.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Olympic Countdown: Three Days to Go!

Three days left until sexy, sweaty men start throwing each other around. Today's sport: Judo.


Who doesn't love a sport where cute guys run around in their bathrobe?


Trying to figure out the rules here... is the object to remove his clothes?
Why haven't I been watching this?

This sport just keeps getting better and better!

Seriously... why haven't I been watching this?

Um... this does not look good.
Talk about your "agony of defeat".

I'd like to feel his victory... if you know what I mean...

Are You F-ing Kidding Me?

I saw this on dlisted this morning:

I think Michael K put it best when he wrote, "Imagine sitting through 15 hours of Justin Timberlake. There isn't enough booze and drugs on the planet to get you through that."

I was hoping they'd bring back Jon Stewart. They always blame the host for the poor ratings. It's the host that gets us through the crap that is "The Oscars." Face it, there's no substance to The Oscars--it's all frivolous.* The ratings for The Oscars are tied directly into what is nominated. The ratings peaked the year Titanic was nominated. As much as I loved Brideshead Revisited, if it gets the most nominations this year it will tank.

If they’re going to go for crappy, why not have Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears host? Talk about the Train-wreck Trifecta! I want to see those nut-jobs derail in the most public way possible.

*I love The Oscars, but when people are being massacred in Darfur and soldiers dying in Iraq and Bush is still devising ways to end life on this planet as we know it, I really couldn't care less what Cate Blanchet is wearing...**

**…wait, she's wearing Dolce and Gabana? FABulous! Get that f'ing starving kid off my TV and turn on E!.

Olympic Countdown: Four Days

With four short days until the Beijing Olympics, the excitement it palpable as the world readies to place their best athletes against each other in the human drama of athletic competition, to witness the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat!* But most importantly, it's the chance to scope out some hot, athletic meat!

As we draw closer to The Olympics, each day I will submit for your approval, a little bit of eye candy.

Today's candy (courtesy of the fine folks at NBC) are showing off the abs of several players of the United States Olympic Swim Team.

I'll leave it to you to figure out which swimmer is which... if that matters to you.

*"Borrowed" from ABC's Wide World of Sports... is that even on anymore? Loved that show... never would have thought of watching bowling on television without that. Still don't think about it, but back then it was on and I didn't feel like getting up and changing the channel.

Mondays (Blech)


I read this first thing today… what a crappy way to start a Monday. Get the word out people…!

Spank Bank Friday

His name is Reynaldo Gianecchini... and he is beautiful. He was raised in Brazil, Italian father who gave him some magnificent genes. He's currently in the hospital with an alergic reaction to penicilin. I would like to volunteer to give him a sponge bath...

Sigh... those eyes...

If you're happy and you know it...

Seriously lost in his eyes...

Such a happy boy.

Goofy look... still adorable

Work that porn 'stache!

Don't be shy, just sit back and relax... seriously, LEAN BACK

Someone move that damn towel!

Reminder: The Olympics begin one week from today...!

Stand Up



Take a stand.

Marvel-ous

Marvel has a wonderful (kids) page on their website to create your own superhero character. Here is mine, I call him Chef Mayhem:



Naturally, I couldn’t restrain myself, and had to try for something a little more FABulous: Create your own superhero by clicking HERE.

Harder Better Faster

With Eight days to go until The Olympic Games begin, I feel the need to see some athleticism of a different nature (no, not that kind of athleticism). Enjoy…

iHappy

It's awesome.

Not Cuil

So, I heard about this fantastic new search engine that was supposed to kill Google called cuil (sounds like “cool”). I decided to search for myself (‘cuz it’s fun) and found that cuil had no mention of me. I decided to go a little more specific with “Chris Lion Slap & Tickle”… still nothing!

Feeling a little low I decided I was in need of a boost, so I googled myself and I was number 1 and number 3 search on Google.

What did I learn from this little test—besides the fact that I have a fragile ego and I enjoy searching myself on the web? That only a fuil thinks cuil is cool and that ain't cuil.*




* Wait... that was supposed to be funny... sorry about that. Funny stuff will be posted shortly.

Spank Bank Friday


Jeremy Bloom



Apparently, he plays with a football...

Sad Passing...

Randy Pausch passed away today at the age of 47 of pancreatic cancer. His Last Lecture received a great deal of attention after it was posted on YouTube, leading to a book deal. I first wrote about him almost a year ago. He leaves behind a wife and three small children. His Time Management Seminar is brilliant.

Mmmm... Brains!

I saw this over at You Can See The Strings! blog:

50%

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites

I just want you all to know that if any of you become a zombie, I won’t hesitate to shoot you in the head—I’m sure you’d do the same for me, but please don’t bother. I gotta feed and most of my friends are pretty smart, so I can only assume their brains would be mighty tasty! Which begs the question, does eating brains make you smarter? Can you ‘taste’ the knowledge? “Mmmm… Pythagorean Theorem —delish!

Anyhow, take the test and see how you’d survive a zombie apocalypse. Anyone over 50% should call me so we can work out a strategy.

Carol Cooper is One Crazy Lady!

Shhhh! Don't tell Carol!

I was checking my email today and I noticed a strange response to a post I made in 2006(!) about Anderson Cooper being gay. Well, this woman--Carol Cooper (no relation that I know of to Anderson)--took umbrage at my calling Anderson Gay. She came up with some rather compelling and stereotypical arguments for why Anderson could not be gay.

Feel free to read the initial post and my response to dear, sweet, deluded Carol. Carol, I think you should meet this lady or this lady and they might set you (ahem) "straight..."