Sunday, July 23, 2006

It’s Official! Anderson Cooper is Gay

There is an interesting New York Magazine article on Anderson Cooper, that little hottie from The Mole (and subsequently work on CNN covering hurricanes and other weather/vox populi items). In the article Anderson is asked the question about whether or not he is gay?

Anderson’s answer was a resounding “YES!” Well, actually, he disguised it, but it was a “yes” none-the-less. Anderson’s answer was “You know, I understand why people might be interested. But I just don’t talk about my personal life.”

It’s a yes or no question. “Yes, I am gay,” or “No, I am not gay.” Why would anyone hesitate in saying that they are not gay? How many straight-closeted individuals are there in the world? They must really be good at hiding, because I can not think of one in history. Anderson did not answer “no.”

So, when Anderson answered “I just don’t talk about my personal life,” he’s saying, “yes, I’m gay, but I got a career and the idiots in the red states don’t want their news coming from some prematurely gray gay hottie.”

Of course, this could all be solved by bringing out the old girlfriends. No one that privileged, educated, good-looking and successful could go through life without hooking up with a number of women along the way. Where are the old girlfriends? Let’s check his book Dispatches from the Edge, shall we?

Brother’s suicide… check
Dad’s death… check
Mother…. check, check
Lost soul-trying-to-find-way-bullshit…check
A mention of a girlfriend anywhere in the book… NADA!

Okay… who is he currently dating? [Crickets chirping…] Yep, that’s a big: no one. More important, there are no rumors about Anderson being seen with a woman. Nothing. You would think he would make an effort… Soledad O'Brien is single—wouldn’t they make a cute couple?

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Coop is a happy straight guy who just does not have sex with anyone. Then again, maybe he’s banging Julio Cesar Recio, the “Julio” he thanked for “his support and calm counsel” in Dispatches. But that is just a rumor that I read about here, here, here, here and here.

And here’s a picture of Julio, which, I’m sure, means nothing…

...except he’s gay.


Michele said...

For some time, now, I've just taken it for granted that Coop is gay. I think it's because you told me that last year, Chris, and I assume you know. (Don't ask me why I assume that; I just do.) And thought everyone knew that, but recently a friend said, "No way, he can't be gay! CNN wouldn't keep him." My friend isn't homophobic--or he wouldn't be my friend--but he really thinks CNN can't have a famous gay newsreader. No wonder Andy still insists his "private life is private." Poor guy. What a hottie, though!

Brian said...

If Anderson isn't gay, then I guess it's just you, me, and Lance Bass*

*Of N'Sync Fame**

**for anyone who's been in a coma the last 10 yrs

Carol Cooper said...

Anderson is not gay, he's just extremely shy and a self proclaimed "geek." If any of you actually watched Regis and Kelly you would know this. He's even admitted that he hates going to parties and drawing attention to himself. Have you ever heard of a shy gay guy who hates drawing attention to himself? No because they don't exist. Furthermore, Anderson used to play dungeons and dragons when he was in high school. Have you ever heard of a gay man who played that game? And if any of you people actually toke the time to read his book, you would have noticed the many references he made to his straightness i.e. "I used to see all the girls with highlights in their hair and fruity drinks in their hand and I never know what to say to them. I'd look down at my boots and see blood stains." Page 8, first paragraph. The reason why he never denies that he is gay is simply because he has very large gay following, and he knows that he would lose thousands of these viewers if he did.

FYI, to furthermore prove my case, Anderson has been dating a girl in California since March of this year, and their actually are pictures of the two of them together. I have never seen any photos of him with a boyfriend. And we all know if he had one there would be photos of the two of them together.

Chris said...

Oh, Carol, Carol, Carol... you poor thing. You really believe he's straight? That would be adorable if it weren't so sad.

I "toke the time" to read his book. Not one reference to a girlfriend. Not one. Good looking man, prominent family... never a girlfriend. Social life completely left out. However, he did thank Julio [Cesar Recio] in his book.

But you go on and believe the stereotypes about gay men "Have you ever heard of a shy gay guy who hates drawing attention to himself?" [btw: yes, I have. Me. I can't tell you how happy you've made my parents! Mom, Dad, according to Carol Cooper, I'm not gay! Sure, I still suck dick, but I don't fit into her narrow stereotype, so I'm free and clear...!"

If you want a stereotype for gay celebrities it's this: When they ask if they are gay the answer is either "yes" or "no". When they answer "I don't talk about my personal life" that means gay. Ask Nathan Lane... or Ian McKellen... or David Hyde Pierce... or Lance Bass... or Jim J. Bullock... or Richard Chamberlain... or Ellen DeGeneres... or David Geffen... or Neil Patrick Harris... or Tab Hunter... or T.R. Knight... or K.D. Lang... or Greg Louganis... or Rosie O'Donnell... or Suze Orman... or Anthony Rapp... or George Takei... or Lily Tomlin... or Tommy Tune... or B.D. Wong... Get it? They all used it--they've all come out.

I understand his worry about coming out, CNN has a lot riding on him. Just because you want him to be straight doesn't make it so.

Look, there's a lot of speculation on Tom Cruise--tell you what, we'll give him to you. You can have Tom Cruise as straight and we won't question it at all. Go on, enjoy him. Fantasize to your hearts content.

You know, come to think of it... you may be right. Liberace was the same way as a child and he certainly wasn't gay.

Chris said...

OOOH! One more thing Carol to add to your stereotype/cliche list: Anderson LOVES Kathy Griffin. Know any straight men that do? Neither do I, sister. Neither do I...

Anonymous said...

Carol, if there's been a girlfriend in Calif for 4 months, with pictures, how come you're the only one who knows about her? Please share!

Anonymous said...

There was a lot of talk about this girl on Ask back in March and Cooper was off quite a bit in March. This has to be more than just a coincidence.

So where are the photos? The paparazzi in California must be slipping up big time!