Did you see the shocking cover of People Magazine this week?! I like to think of myself as keeping up to date on celebrity issues, but this just knocked me for a loop. Can you believe it? I mean, who would have thought?
I’m not talking about Lance Bass—I think Lance was the only one who did not think he was gay…
I am talking about the much more shocking item to the lower right:
Colin Farrell is sober?! What the hell is up with that? A Colin Farrell sober world is a world I want no part of. My only chance of ever getting Colin naked was if he were blind-stinking drunk.*
I stand no chance of ever getting a 10. My only chance is if a 10 gets so incredibly drunk he does not know he is hitting well below his league… and by then, it is too late for him (but so much the better for me).
So, I will have to scratch Colin Farrell off my Potential Lays if They’re Incredibly Drunk list. Now I have to work on getting Josh Hartnett to start drinking heavily… and I should send some wine to Ashton Kutcher as well.
*Naturally, I would bathe him before licking him up and down and up and down, because cigarettes, b.o. and booze do not make for a fun smell.
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