Thursday, July 31, 2008


Marvel has a wonderful (kids) page on their website to create your own superhero character. Here is mine, I call him Chef Mayhem:

Naturally, I couldn’t restrain myself, and had to try for something a little more FABulous: Create your own superhero by clicking HERE.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Harder Better Faster

With Eight days to go until The Olympic Games begin, I feel the need to see some athleticism of a different nature (no, not that kind of athleticism). Enjoy…

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


It's awesome.
Not Cuil

So, I heard about this fantastic new search engine that was supposed to kill Google called cuil (sounds like “cool”). I decided to search for myself (‘cuz it’s fun) and found that cuil had no mention of me. I decided to go a little more specific with “Chris Lion Slap & Tickle”… still nothing!

Feeling a little low I decided I was in need of a boost, so I googled myself and I was number 1 and number 3 search on Google.

What did I learn from this little test—besides the fact that I have a fragile ego and I enjoy searching myself on the web? That only a fuil thinks cuil is cool and that ain't cuil.*

* Wait... that was supposed to be funny... sorry about that. Funny stuff will be posted shortly.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Spank Bank Friday

Jeremy Bloom

Apparently, he plays with a football...

Sad Passing...

Randy Pausch passed away today at the age of 47 of pancreatic cancer. His Last Lecture received a great deal of attention after it was posted on YouTube, leading to a book deal. I first wrote about him almost a year ago. He leaves behind a wife and three small children. His Time Management Seminar is brilliant.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Mmmm... Brains!

I saw this over at You Can See The Strings! blog:


Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites

I just want you all to know that if any of you become a zombie, I won’t hesitate to shoot you in the head—I’m sure you’d do the same for me, but please don’t bother. I gotta feed and most of my friends are pretty smart, so I can only assume their brains would be mighty tasty! Which begs the question, does eating brains make you smarter? Can you ‘taste’ the knowledge? “Mmmm… Pythagorean Theorem —delish!

Anyhow, take the test and see how you’d survive a zombie apocalypse. Anyone over 50% should call me so we can work out a strategy.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Carol Cooper is One Crazy Lady!

Shhhh! Don't tell Carol!

I was checking my email today and I noticed a strange response to a post I made in 2006(!) about Anderson Cooper being gay. Well, this woman--Carol Cooper (no relation that I know of to Anderson)--took umbrage at my calling Anderson Gay. She came up with some rather compelling and stereotypical arguments for why Anderson could not be gay.

Feel free to read the initial post and my response to dear, sweet, deluded Carol. Carol, I think you should meet this lady or this lady and they might set you (ahem) "straight..."

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

What a Wascally Wabbit!

I’m off for a few days to celebrate my birthday… yes, there’s still time to get me something. No need to feel embarrassed, people often forget that it’s “Chruly”.* Feel free to celebrate all month!

In the meantime, enjoy this:

Have a great weekend!

My only two choices seemed to be “Chruly” or “Jis” and “Jis” was a tad to close to jizz…

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

All For Four

For any of you in the summer doldrums, here's something to make you smile:

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Weekend Fun

I loved Designing Women back in the 80’s. Yes, it’s a gay thing, I’m sure. But it was very funny and the best part of any episode was when Julia went on a rant. More eloquent than humanly possible without a hefty staff or writers, she said the things that needed to be said and put assholes firmly in place. All while never uttering a single offensive word… such as “assholes.”

With thanks to YouTube, here are a few of my favorite bits.

Favorite. Rant. Ever.

Loved Bernice

“These things are POWER!”

Friday, July 11, 2008

Spank Bank Friday

With the 29th Olympiad of the Modern Era less than a month away, I thought I'd post something more in the Olympic ideal of what goes into the spank bank. I present to you, two Olympic swimmers for the United States (Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte)...

...and Paul Bester, a rugby player from South Africa. I think I will be "going for gold" in the Olympic Spanking Competition

Redneck Wedding

You can’t get much more redneck than this: Bubba and Pam got “hitched” in the parking lot of a Waffle House in Georgia—apparently, they both work there. Bubba had to work the morning shift…

I love the video… trash all the way through. “Tia: Maney” the brilliant creator of this awesome video suffers a bit from ADD—hardly any picture lasts more than a second before “artistically” fading into another pic. As you can see from the end credits of the video screen shot, “Tia: Maney” also doesn’t understand how to change a font size and/or completely lacks an understanding of aesthetics. I hear Britney has signed Tia to direct her next video...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Useless Remake

I saw there was a remake coming of The Day The Earth Stood Still. I loved the original, but with a good director, a really great film could be made of that today. And then I saw who was in it:

Acting Genius

It's gonna suck out loud.
New Find: Failblog

I recently found this hysterical blog called Failblog, which celebrates colossal stupidity. The posts include newspaper clippings, incidents, signs, videos, ironic moments and general stupidity that can simply be classified as FAILURE. Enjoy.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Jon Benet’s Parents Cleared of Murder Charges

Well, that only took 12 years…

Yoda is Dead

Imagine my surprise today when I was looking at Google News and noticed the headline: UN: One peacekeeper killed and 19 wounded in Darfur attack. Next to it is a picture of Yoda! It's obvious that Yoda would work with the UN--the Jedis were a peacekeeping force--but I didn't even know he was in Darfur... you'd think with the Jedis there, things would be going better. And why the Hell aren't they in Afghanistan or Iraq? Lazy Jedis...

I just hope that Obi-Wan Kenobi and his young padawan are out of harm's way...

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

White Boy Gangsta Rap

This guy is pretty funny:

His name is Bo Burnham and he has a number of comedic videos on YouTube. He’s freakin’ 17 years old! Damn over-achieving kids…
Holy Creepy Crap!

You can say whatever you like about gays being pervs… but only straight guys can come up with this freakyness: Teddy Babes, “For guys too BIG for Teddy Bears”. Biz-fucking-zarre!

What, exactly, were these straight guys doing with their Teddy Bears? My Teddy and I snuggled. These guys apparently did the nasty with theirs. Is this why they don’t want gays in the military: once we see what’s really going on, we’re going to tell everyone how freakin’ perverted you are!

Thursday, July 03, 2008


Dear God...!

Holy crap this is freaky!

Her name is "Busty Hearts" (I am NOT shitting you) and she has a YouTube account where she breaks more things with her breasteses. Enjoy.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Damage Control

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency
I Knew It! Bush IS A Terrorist!

How will FOX “News” report this:

From Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Never Again...

I made a wedding cake for a friend this past week... I will never do that again. What a nightmare! Nothing but stress and problems. Who knew a grown man could cry so much?

Other pictures are posted on my Flickr page (the link is to your right).