Oh my, how the week has turned weird.
Carla, my boss, has been hospitalized—I have been forcibly put in charge. Why must the least qualified be forced to lead? Carla
I’ll just refer to this time as either “The Grand F’ Up,” or “The Amazing Learning Experience, Where I Got My Ass Sh**-Canned.” The former sounds great, but I have a feeling the latter is most accurate.
On to other things…
I put a personal ad on line at an online gay personals site. We’ll see if anyone contacts me. Actually, a few have noticed. True, these people probably have criminal records, poor vision and some sort of freaked-out fetish, but it’s always nice to be appreciated.
I’ve e-mailed JD a few times, indicating I’d like to ask him out. He seems receptive, but I’m not sure how receptive he is. Is he just being nice, or is he really interested? I get a lot of “Yes, we should meet sometime” kinds of messages. I think I’m expecting him to show some more enthusiasm for some reason, or at least send a “call me right now and we can talk” instant message. I’m too wimpy for words, aren’t I? Most people would just call and accept whatever happens. Me? I have to analyze the crap out of something until it almost disappears and then whine about it.
I think my fear is that he is just being polite and that he really doesn’t want to go out with me. I will find out tonight, as I’m going to give him a call and see when we can meet. I don’t want to talk him up, or put me down too much, but I keep thinking he can do a lot better than me.
I’ll see tonight.
If you’re curious about what I wrote on my personal, here it is:
I am a man of many contradictions: I believe in following the rules, but believe it is everyone’s right to occasionally break them. A deep understanding of important issues is critical, but all I know seems to come from Dateline (damn that Stone Phillips with his handsome face and sexy, deep voice!) I’m a die-hard liberal with an intense conservative streak. I believe everyone needs to grow up, although I’m the least mature person you will ever meet. Procrastination is something to avoid, but it is my most effective descriptor. I love athletics (particularly, the Olympics) but have the grace and athletic abilities of a refrigerator. I think everyone should exercise everyday and vow someday I will start. Smoking is horrible, but I love my cigars. Television is a vast wasteland, yet I watch it all the time. I adore music, but couldn’t name a song or group if I tried—and I am painfully tone-deaf. I adore books, and have shelves of partially read books to prove it. Movies are mostly crap and should be avoided, and I would do so if I weren’t going at least once a week. I love just about any home improvement show, but put a hammer in my hand and I have the mechanical abilities of a manatee. Speling is important.
One should be passionate about important issues, unfortunately, I am only passionate about trivial items, such as (in no particular order):
Saturday Night Live should just stop already.
Comics should be funny and non-repetitive (hear that Cathy, Garfield, Family Circus, and The Big Picture?)
Lego is the greatest toy ever invented, no ifs ands or buts.
Dogs are better than cats.
Toilet paper goes over.
I think The Simpsons is the greatest television show ever.
The Osbournes is a close second.
Fart jokes are funny.
The ampersand (&) is cooler than at (@).
The word ampersand is one of my favorite words.
Keyser Söze is the greatest character name in all of moviedom.
David Diaz De La Questa is the coolest name of anyone I have personally known.
Sex is great; love more so.
Coke is better than Pepsi.
Nick at Nite is the best cable network (although Discovery, Showtime, HBO, and TLC, are pretty cool too).
If he’s a man and alive, what’s not to like?
Friends are to be kept close; fuck ‘em otherwise.
Fuck is the most useful swearword ever created.
If you can’t take a joke, you should not be within 50 yards of me.
Most important quality in the world: brevity.
With the exception of the scary people who have sent e-mails, all I can hear are crickets chirping...
*UPDATE (6/2006) Much happened shortly after that post--I'm just now going back over them and correcting anything positive I ever said about that unbelievable lying bitch from hell. Seriously, she's the most evil person ever. Spread lies everywhere, blamed everyone else but herself, and when she started to crash and burn, she made a point of trying to take us all with her. Pure fucking evil. If I were to ever see that bitch on the street I'm torn if I should just turn and walk away or tell her how she ruined dozens of lives. Hopefully, a cliff will not be nearby, because it would be too tempting not to push her off it. Evil fucking bitch. Good thing I'm not bitter all these years later...