Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Best Bath Ever

Best Week Ever came up with a post 50 Animals Who Hate Baths. These are three of my favorites:

Friday, March 27, 2009

Spank Bank Buddies

Guys, much like women, often hang out in pairs. Also like women, one is usually hotter than the other. The lesson for all of us? Unless you want to be "the less attractive one" always stand on your buddies right side...

These guys look like douchebag assholes... but I'd still do them. (Good thing this guy is flipping of the camera, otherwise I might think he's gay... you know, sitting shirtless on a mattress with another shirtless guy...)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Smart Kid

This kid is pretty amazing... and makes a compelling point.

Monday, March 23, 2009

One of Those Days

Some days it seems like everyone who comes into my office is there just to bug me...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Spank Bank Friday: A-Rod

With just over two weeks to Opening Day... here's some A-Rod action.

Seriously... how is this guy NOT gay? Too goodlooking, very into the gym, VERY into Madonna, plays with his balls all the time (hey-yo!), and if that's not enough, does a spread for Details. Really? Details...? Really...? Really...

Thursday, March 19, 2009


DListed put it perfectly. I couldn't stop laughing.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Midweek (Spank) Banking...

I'm paying some bills today (I'm sure it's a marketing ploy, but when the envelope arrives with a big red stamp on it--and a handwritten note saying "pay up now, deadbeat, or we break your legs", I feel I should send them a few dollars). Anywho... what were we talking about?

Ah, banking! Yes, well, like the rest of the world (sans those asswipes at AIG) my bank account is very low... but my Spank Bank account is oozing with deposits (that came out dirtier than it was supposed to, but I'm keeping it because it made me laugh).

What got me started is today is Mike Rowe's 47th birthday! Happy Birthday, Mike! Dirty Jobs is one of my favorite shows... even dirty, you're mighty good looking:

Well, Mike got me thinking about other celebrities I like, such as James Franco--who is currently attending NYU. You gotta admit, the boy looks good in glasses:

Wanna cram?

And then, because my favorite Deadly Sin is Lust, here's a little Eddie Cibrian. Why? Look at him! Jumping Jiminies!

Lose the damn towel...

Reason #162 why I want to win the lottery:
"Oh, pool boy!"

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Special thanks to Pammy for sending this to me!

If you want to check out a fantastic way to celebrate St. Paddy's Day, check out Tales of the Sissy--booya!
Eddie (Still) Would Go

It's been 31 years since Eddie Aikau died... they're still talking about him. I've posted about him previously.

Monday, March 16, 2009

All This to Meet Tyra Banks?

Certified NUTZ:

Friday, March 13, 2009

Spanking Nick Youngquest

Spank Bank Friday presents: Nick Youngquest. Yet another rugby player... I love this game (well, the players...)

Nick: BT (before tattoo)
Been There, Bought That

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Truth (in Advertising)

Simple, elegant message. Sure, it’s selling Coca Cola—but it’s deliciousCoca Cola—however, the message is more important: tough times only make us stronger—enjoy your life, as those are the times you remember most.

For those of you who are dead inside, don’t bother watching. For those of you with a heart… grab a Kleenex!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Octo-Mom Birthing Tape

I had a feeling it went down like this…

...using the tray as a bat: genius!

Thank you, Jimmy Kimmel!

Monday, March 09, 2009

This is What I See on the Road Everyday

Friday, March 06, 2009

Spank Bank Friday: Tom, Dick & Harry

Have a lovely weekend...

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Polishing the Raised Scepter of Love

One of the best monologues, ever. Not only is it brilliantly--and hysterically--written, the look on the kid's face is priceless. I'm not sure it held up to its early promise, but Weeds has always been an enjoyable show to watch.

Most Important Song of the Day

I saw this at Crunk + Disorderly… Mercy! Check out her face as she’s singing “No more Bacon, no more sausage”, she is truly bummed out about that. He, on the other hand, looks rather happy not to have their breakfast staples… not sure if it’s a cost thing, or he just wants her to drop 4 or 5 stone…

There’s a lesson to be learned from watching and [shudder] listening to these two: maybe—just maybe—Heaven isn’t really Heaven without bacon… delicious, salty, artery-clogging, heart attacking-inducing, friggin’ awesome bacon. I’m not saying, I’m just sayin’. Something to think about…

Of course, all I can think about now is sausage, bacon, eggs, and biscuits… and I almost never have sausage, bacon, eggs, and biscuits for breakfast! Stupid singers... making me hungry.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

What Kind of Superhero Are You?

I am "The Sporked Spatula... of Doom!" I added the "of Doom" because it's so friggin' awesome and it's SO very me.

Go to The Hero Factory and find out what kind of super hero you are. Special thanks to Cav for sending me this.
Twitter Me This...

I’m a man of few talents… well, some talents, but one can’t make money at them (legally—wacka-chicka-wacka-chicka-bow-wow!). I am somewhat content with my lot in life: it’s not a lot, but it’s a life! (Ba-da-BING! Thank you, I’ll be here all week… try the veal…)

I know who I am. I know what I am… and then came Twitter.

I don’t get it. While, I’m not the most technical guy around, I do have a general understanding of technology, computers, the web, etc. I may not always understand it, but I get it. I’ve got a blog (duh)—actually, I have several. I have a Facebook page—which I find silly, stupid, pointless and so incredibly addictive. However, I don’t get Twitter.

With Twitter, I can tell people what I’m doing right now, which is only good if you continuously keep telling people what you’re doing all day long. Facebook, on the other hand, is very participatory. I can see what all my friends are up to, check out their pictures, join some groups, have an online conversation, change my profile, post 25 things no one knows and/or cares about me, all while pretending to work—even as I send someone an imaginary gift that they don’t want.

But Twitter… what the hell does it actually do? I can post minutiae about myself all day long, but it doesn’t really prove anything other than I’ve got nothing to do but post minutiae about myself continuously all day long. I know I don’t have much of a life, but do I really need a website to confirm it for me?

Feel free to prove my point: Twitter me all about it…