This is just too biz-f’n-zarre! Read the story HERE. Frankly, I love the fact that he’s wearing a GAP shirt… I’m sure GAP feels otherwise.
I gotta say that the April 12 Saturday Night Live was way up there in terms of actually being funny. The opening lasted WAY too long, but the rest of the show just nailed it. Silly as it was, the Death By Chocolate with Ashton Kutcher really made me laugh—probably because it was so ridiculous.
John Barrowman. Start of Torchwood. I've heard he's arogant... but if I looked like him and sang like him, I would be too. He was the Blonde Nazi singing Springtime for Hitler in The Producers. He looked good as a blonde (and as a Nazi, which I feel terrible about... and should be strictly punished for!). Did I mention he's a 'mo? Yeah... probably a nasty top (but in my dreams he's an insatiable bottom...!)
What is this bullshit going on with the Olympic torch relay? In London, protestors attacked the runners, trying to wrestle the torch from them. At another point in the route, someone discharged a fire extinguisher at the runner. Today in Paris, there was pandemonium and enough security warranted for a state visit. The runners had to jump onto a bus to escape the mobs. On Wednesday the relay comes to San Francisco… The nutjobs in SF LIVE for this kind of stuff.
Look, I’m a card-carrying liberal. I’m appalled at what China is doing in Tibet, and I stand with the Dali Lama and all those that wish to peacefully restore Tibet. While the Olympics are to be held in China this year, the Olympics are about Sport, not Politics. I appreciate the spirit of those that are protesting. I believe in Free Speech. I believe that China is in the wrong. However, when you deny someone’s right to free speech, you are no different than those you are protesting. Attacking the runners isn’t really addressing the problem, is it?
So… there are no more urgent issues in the world? Afghanistan is all honky-dory? Africa is doing just fine? Darfur is settled and everyone is happy and content—no one hacking anyone to death because they’re from the “wrong” tribe? Yes, the political situation in Tibet is awful—but Africa is pretty much a consistent lesson in genocide. But, genocide is a real downer, isn’t it? Protesting China is more cool. Even though half the crap you buy is from China—China’s bad, right? But not bad enough you want to throw out those clothes you got real cheap… Better to disrupt a parade, because—when you think about it—that’s what the Dali Lama’s five-point peace plan for Tibet was all about.
Speaking of… what’s the Dali Lama’s take on the situation? Non-violence. Non-fucking-violence. He’s had that opinion since China invaded Tibet in 1950. See a problem here?
Um… let’s see if I’ve got this straight: You fight oppression of free speech by oppression someone’s right to free speech and you answer a call for non-violence with violence. I think George Bush’s job of turning the world into idiots who behave just like him is complete.
I may not be all that bright, but I know that the bullshit has got to stop and we've got to start protesting things that aren't "cool" or have an easy solution. While Tibet does matter, it has been fifty years since China invaded... now is the time we need to make a stand? Against the swimmers, the long-distance runners, those women that look like 12 year-old boys on the balance beam... this is what we're protesting against?
[Sounds of crickets chirping]
[Chris steps slowly off of soapbox]
Um... and now back to our regularly scheduled garbage:
For those of you who are not addicted to the new Battlestar Galactica on SciFi, you should be. If you want to catch up on fours season for the final season premiere -in a mere 8 minutes- click HERE... Fraking awesome!!!The Fools of April
Google always finds a neat trick for April Fools. This year, Google combined with Virgin to create Virgle: The Adventure of Many Lifetimes. It is the chance to colonize Mars!
They did a really nice job creating a 100 year plan (check out the escape pods from
It’s very funny and worth taking their “Test Your Pioneering Potential” quiz. My two favorite questions were:
Q: If I was unexpectedly confronted with the emergence of a bewilderingly alien and frighteningly advanced Martian life form which appeared bent on killing me if I failed to quickly and effectively communicate my peaceful intentions and potential value to its civilization, I would
a) Die
b) Whip out my handy universal transcorder and start schmoozing my ass off.
c) Well, given that there's no such thing as a transcorder that works for a Martian language that we haven't even heard yet, I guess I'd just do my best to seem non-threatening while communicating my peaceful intentions with subtly universal hand gestures.
d) Run straight toward the Martian while screaming wildly and brandishing whatever weapon happens to be handy.
Q: A multi-stage heavy lift rocket built using established solid and liquid propellant technology with solid boosters doubled for increased payload capability could start a burn for insertion into a lunar trajectory and then back toward Earth for final insertion into a modified Hohmann Transfer Orbit, increasing its final Earth-to-Mars transfer velocity through a periapsis delta-v burn performed at the closest lunar and subsequent Earth approach, with the additional delta v gained on account of the potential energy from the mass of expended propellant,
A) Actually, I would think fairly quickly and easily
B) Only with significant time and fuel expenditure
C) My SAT tutor said to always guess C if you aren't sure
D) goo goo ga ga hee hee ha ha
(I picked “C”)
What. A. Douchebag.
Jeff Whitty decided he needed to address the situation one more time and posted a brilliant picture where he gives his “gayest look” to Mr. Leno:
Well, it hasn’t taken long for others to follow suit and post tons of pictures of people giving their gayest look to Jay Leno. (I love me some Melissa McEwan at Shakesville.)
Feel free to send on your “gayest look.” For me, I prefer this gay look:
Next time you’re flipping channels late at night, be sure to give Jay your gayest look and then keep flipping until you get to Letterman.
[UPDATE: You know, I feel bad I neglected Jon Stewart and Craig Ferguson in my late night TV discussion above. Jon is brilliant in just about everything he does--and The Daily Show is completely in its element right now with the election. But Craig is often ignored because he's on so much later (hence, his aptly named show: "The Late Late Show". Jon has always been good to the gays, calling the b.s. when he sees it. This clip from TLLS is a prime example of how funny and geniune Craig can be. And Jay Leno still sucks... the "give your gayest look" is getting more and more play!]
[Another Update: Jay is apparently "sorry" for his remarks. Sorry that that his crack didn't go unnoticed. Still a douche... ]
Certainly I can't be the only one to notice this...
Happy first day of Spring! The weather is beautiful in Northen California this morning, the trees are full of blossoms, the birds are singing and Easter is just around the corner! I love Spring because we shed our winter coats and get out in skimpier clothing:
But what I love most about Spring is that Shirtless Summer is just around the corner!
If that doesn't do it for you, try this! McGreevey's aide says he, McGreevey and Professional Victim (Mrs. McGreevey) were threesome-ing it for quite some time. But, she "had no idea" he was gay. Um, when he's sucking crank in front of you, lady, that's a BIG DAMN CLUE!
[UPDATE: McGreevey admitted to the threesomes... I think want to go into politics]
Still not convinced? Try to figure out the "sanctity" of this, this, this, and this—plus, I'd love to know God's take on this and this. And if it doesn't work out there's this and this. Or for you do-it-yourselfers this and this.
This completes the end of the debate for Sanctity of Marriage. Why not let gays do for marriage what we do for property values? Give us marriage rights and we will fix it up and make it better. Honesty, do you really think we'll do a worse job than you?
However, if you're going to continue denying gays the right to marry—not civil union, not partnership, but full-on fucking MARRIAGE—you had better come up with a better reason, because that one NO ONE buys anymore.
The new five-dollar bills are out today and Yahoo! News has a wonderful image of "the front, top, and back of the new five dollar bill."
MYSTERY CARROT AWARD
for website adequacy
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