Speling is Important

I was driving into San Francisco this weekend for the Folsom Street Fair and plastered on the support columns for the overpasses were large signs, proclaiming: “End the Bush Rigeme Now!”

How do you expect people to take your cause seriously if you can’t fucking spell regime correctly?

Where Are You and Will You be My Friend?


So I was looking at my Cluster Map this morning and I was amazed that all around the world in countries I may never have heard of (“thank you inferior public ‘educashun’ system”), people are clicking on my site!

I’m sure that many of those that clicked on this site were looking—in vain—for Giada DeLaurentiis’ boobs (keep looking guys… keep looking) or a searching for ‘shirtless Anderson Cooper’ (when you find it, call me, okay?). Regardless of why they came here, they came and I am counting them as a visitor, even if they only stayed for a minute or so (average time here :57… are you fast readers, or does it take that long to realize that I suck?

Anyway, looking at the map, I noticed some small dots in the middle of several oceans. Where the hell are those islands? I know Hawaii and the Canary Islands off Europe, but there is a dot down in the Pacific, Atlantic Ocean and Indian Oceans that just make me wonder if it is a ship at sea—because I do not think there are actual islands there (well, according to the maps in 10th grade at Willow Glen High School ("Home of the Rams!")—who knows about the maps in 11th, 12th and college—I stopped looking at maps when I started looking at guys).

So, I went to Google Earth (which I have nothing but problems with—there is a glich and it annoys me to no end—but still, it’s Google, so it’s better than anything else out there). Guess what? There are islands out there! (Stupid pulik skools map…)

A special ‘thank you’ to those who visited from São Miguel, Pitcairn Islands, and Maldives (isn’t that some kind of salad?).* I am almost certain that you are of questionable nature and searching for items of equal or greater questionable nature—and that makes you my friend.





*Yeah, I know… it’s endive—it’s a joke. I may have gone to a lousy skuul, but I done be a-read’n Martha Stewart…

Caption This

Every now and again I see a picture that begs to be recaptioned. For example, the picture above was found in a local paper and it is pretty awful. I’m not sure what chubbly is doing, but it is awkward at best. Dude appears to not just be dragging his heel, but trying to pull up the flooring with it. And Miss Priss looks like she’s vainly trying to escape a panic attack.

Disliking immensely the caption from the paper, I decided to try and come up with something more fitting to the actual picture:

Synchronized Dance Team Gets Off to Rocky Start
It’s True: White People Can’t Dance
Local Man Wins Talent Contest By Firing Ping-Pong Balls Out His Ass
Study Says ‘Some People Never Outgrow Awkward Phase’
Guy With Hot Dance Moves Really Gets The Chicks
Torn Between Two Lovers…

That’s all I could come up with off the top of my head… got a good caption? Let me know.

Give a Little, Help a Lot

My friend Wylea is in her fourth year of raising money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society/Team in Training. Below is a fundraising note she sent me. If you can, please give—she is trying to raise $6000 for this very worthy cause.


I want to share with you the story of Ronda and her dad Ron Goldstone. He, along with many others, is the reason I keep doing this...a cure has got to be found. Ronda was on our walk team last Winter season. In May of 2005 she learned that her dad, Ron had been diagnosed with Leukemia. To say the very least, she was devastated. She was starting a new job, fostering a relationship with her boyfriend Rob and living in a new place in the Silicon Valley—a long way from her dad and family in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Ronda didn’t have a marathon on her “to do” list. She joined the team for a chance to fight blood cancers, for a chance to find a cure, a chance to spend more time with her dad. She learned that many of Ron’s caregivers had also participated in TNT which made it easy for him to relay his daughter’s stories and share in theirs. This gave Ron something more than cancer to think about. He was so proud and supportive of his daughter.

Often worried whether she was doing the right thing Ronda learned that her father’s bone marrow trans-plant could not have been performed 5 years ago. Re-search gave him a chance...research funded by groups like she was supporting...like Team in Training. After three and a half months of training Ronda, her boyfriend Rob and two others on our team completed a full marathon. It was a challenging race to say the least. There was ice on the ground, frost on their bodies and the course had been removed long before the finish line ~ they had to navigate the end of the course on their own. The blister on the bottom of Ronda’s foot was the size of a silver dollar pancake. Never before had I seen medals awarded that were more deserved.

During Ron’s treatment he often liked to wear his favorite t-shirt that read “Cancer Sucks.” Everyone on the team that went to Austin took a photo in that t-shirt to carry on our journey. When the race was finished we signed the photos to create a photo board for Ronda to bring to and share with her father. Unfortunately he never got to see the photos or read what we had written. Three days after the marathon Ronda was called home to Cincinnati. She made it just in time to see him and tell him the adventure of finishing her first marathon. She was able to slip her medal into his hand and he squeezed it...hard. He was so proud of her accomplishment. Ron was wearing his “Cancer Sucks” t-shirt when he passed away surrounded by his family.

We never got to meet Ron, but I certainly felt like I knew him. I felt like I had lost a member of my family. It’s a reason for me to keep walking ~ to find a cure! And it’s because of you we make such strides towards that cure. Your donations are greatly appreciated and make a guaranteed difference. Thank you for supporting such a wonderful cause!

If you have someone in your life that has fought or is fighting cancer, please let me know. I will proudly wear their name on my jersey on race day in honor of them...my inspiration for this journey.

If you wish to give, please go to Wylea’s donation page.

Why Reality TV is Better Than Scripted TV

You can't find this on scripted TV... because no one in their right mind would ever (and I mean EVER) write crazy-assed stuff like this.