Ted Haggard, Thy Name is “Pot”
(Reverend Haggard demonstrates what he likes to do with a penis... while on drugs...)One of the many reasons I’m going to
Hell (none being that I am
gay) is how much I enjoy when things like
this happen.
Ted Haggard, evangelical Christian and opposer of gay marriage, has been revealed as having paid for sex 36 times over the last three years. Oh, and the kicker? He was also using drugs.
Can we say “Delicious!”?
Teddy-boy does not believe in gay marriage, but hot man-on-(drugged) man sex is apparently being “faithful” to his wife and five kids. I love it when one can interpret vague passages in The Bible to condemn gay relationships, but when it comes to
The Ten Commandments themselves—and in particular, the
seventh—somehow there is ‘wiggle room.’ Where’s the
tranny-hooker when you need one? I don’t think The Bible mentions tranny-hookers (the jury is still out on Mary Magdalene…)
What next for the good reverend? Does he come out—leaving the wife and kids? Will he be leading next year’s San Francisco Gay Pride Parade? I am sure Haggard will use the “I take full responsibility—but it was the addiction, not me” approach so successfully used by
Mel Gibson and
Reverend Phelps* is the biggest homo of them all? Honestly, no one thinks about gays and gay sex as much as that man—not even gays themselves. Seriously, I have better things to do with my time than to think about two guys screwing around… like thinking of
three guys screwing around.
**I think we had better start looking for the next Haggard in politics, because you know they are out there. Start looking for those who bash gays the most and you are on target: Dubya? Maybe. Condeleeza? No, she likes
Karl Rove? Something tells me he’s not just gay, he’s so anti-gay, he has got to be into some weird and twisted fetish-sex that I am actually salivating while I wait for
that press release.
*I know what website I’ve linked to… and what I have not linked to.
** You knew that was coming, didn’t you? Of course you did—you’re smart.