Slap & Tickle

Do You Believe In Ghosts?

Santana Row, the former Town & Country Village Shopping Center burned yesterday. My God, what a sight! Flames shooting hundreds of feet in the air, apartment complexes miles away catching fire, traffic for miles diverted and backed up—in short, a real disaster. Sadly, the $500 million complex was exactly a month away from it’s grand opening. Who knows what will happen now.

While only 20% of the 40 acre complex burned, Building #7 was the largest building in the complex. It is also the main building along Winchester Blvd., which is across from the Century Theatres, so if you want a showpiece, this is the spot you DON’T want it to burn, because EVERYONE is going to see a burnt out hulk of a building rather than your crowning jewel.

Thankfully, Crate & Barrel (mind you, the BRAND NEW, JUST OPENED A MONTH AGO Crate & Barrel) did not suffer any damage. That C&B is one awesome building… plus, it’s a great store.

Oh, yeah, and no one was hurt…

Talk about a warped and twisted sense of priorities, I’m more concerned that a store is okay, versus the safety of the workers? Ugh. Actually, I think it’s because I knew the workers were okay, I could worry about trivial things, and come up with my conspiracy theories.

In my world, there are no accidents, it all happens according to some plan. Be it “The Man,” Tom Wopat, or Martha Stewart, I know nothing just “happens.” Someone has plotted or done something. This fire couldn’t be an accident, it happened at the shift change, when fewer workers were on, construction was almost complete, the sprinkler systems were about to be finished… hmmm… there’s something sinister going on here.

Conspiracy Theory #1: Santana Row Owners Did It.
Building #7 was to house the $15,000 per month condos for businessmen. When Federal Realty (the owners of SR) started construction of “the Row,” we were at the top of the internet & real estate bubble. Since that has popped (actually, more like ‘came crashing down with great thunder’), will they be able to rent to a high-end market? What company is throwing around that kind of money in these hard times? What person in this area is throwing around that kind of money?

The building burned at the shift change, when fewer workers were inside, thus, allowing the fire to start unobserved. Plus, any liability incurred with the loss of life is severely limited by most of the employees being out of the building.

Where this falls apart is that we have known the economy has been dropping for a while. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to have made some adjustments to the floor plans? Or convert them into smaller apartments than to burn it all down? Besides, Fidelity Realty is an INSURANCE company! Who do you think is their insurance company, Farmers?

Conspiracy Theory #2: Worker Wanting Job To Continue/Disgruntled Employee
With only a month left to go and not much new construction on the horizon, I’m sure a lot of these construction workers are a little concerned. Where are they going to find their next job? With all these workers looking for a job, will anything this big be coming up—if not, where will they all find work?

Why not at Santana Row?

By burning down the main building, Fidelity Realty will need to get their centerpiece up and running again ASAP, and they will need construction workers. Why look, here are some right now… just waiting to work… with no other immediate plans.

Once again, it was on the shift change, so no one could see what was going on, plus, the arsonist’s fellow construction workers would be safe from the fire. It’s perfect… but not quite.

The problem is, construction isn’t stopping at this point. There are several other phases of construction that are starting up as soon as the main buildings are done. The Ciné Arts complex needs to be built and several other condos and housing units are scheduled to start as well. There is still time to burn something else down after the current project is done.

Now, there is the possibility of a disgruntled worker. Never underestimate the power of the disgruntled worker to really F’ things up. But why not destroy more? Did they hope it would ignite the entire complex? Why not start a separate fire two buildings over and get the whole place going? It seems too random to be disgruntled.

Nope, this seems a little more emotional…

SOLUTION: Conspiracy Theory #3: Sarah Winchester
For anyone who has worked or lived around the Winchester Mystery House knows, Sarah has always made her presence known. When she doesn’t like something, she has a way of making that distinctly clear.

I worked at the Century Theatres, next to the Winchester House and across from Santana Row (then called Town & Country) for years. Sarah had a way of coming in at the worst possible time and really f’ing things up. Bulbs would blow in projectors, films would snap at start, odd things would go missing when you saw them moments before you needed them. All attributed to Sarah.

To keep Sarah out of the projection booth, we used to have to keep the light on in the projection booth when we closed at night, or else the next day, She would wreak havoc. New managers never believed this theory… until the day they opened the theatre and the light was off—and things suddenly went terribly, terribly wrong. The first (and last) time it happened to me, I walked in the booth and it was completely dark. I laughed and thought “I’ll prove that theory wrong.”

First, the first film I started broke at start (I’d checked it three times). I started again and it snapped just after the previews ended. Then, about an hour and a half later, the bulb in C-house blew. As I was changing it (an arduous task) the bulb in B-house blew. Once those two bulbs were changed, I went to start A-house again… the bulb blew. As I was changing the bulb in A-house, I said, “Damnit, Sarah, I believe you. Go away!” Problems stopped.

I was not the only one to have incidents such as this. On the later occasions I walked into the booth and the light was off, I spoke to Sarah, begging her to go somewhere else. I opened the door to the outside and shoo-ed her away. No problems. Later that morning, I told the new assistant about Sarah being around and to shoo her away. He laughed… and two films broke on him, until he shoo-ed her away, too.

In 1906, Sarah’s house was a massive seven stories tall. She felt that the ghosts did not like such a high house and that she should build out, not up—so they sent the San Francisco earthquake to bring it down. Down it came.

Now suddenly, new construction, across the street from her house is growing taller by the day. Did Sarah decide that she didn’t like such a tall place? Well, there are taller buildings just to the east of her house with no complaints. However, Building #7 appears to be on a rather touchy spot.

Years ago, there was a restaurant in the old T&C called The Brave Bull. It was a beef joint that was a little iffy, to say the least. I knew several people who worked there as waiters and bartenders and they always made comments that Sarah didn’t seem to like the place much (seriously, who did?). They reported odd things that would go wrong and how late at night they “heard strange things.” Eventually, The Brave Bull, located on the same spot as Building #7 burned down.

Also on the same spot as Building #7 was Eli Thomas Menswear. I knew a guy who worked there and he said that weird things used to happen all the time. During my stint at the Town & Country Theatre, things occasionally happened, but not with a great deal of regularity. The stores that stood where Building #7 stood, there was a significantly higher frequency of strange happenings. I suspect that Sarah wants nothing on that particular spot and I think she has made her point abundantly clear.

To Fidelity Realty/Santana Row, I issue this caution: Do not underestimate Sarah Winchester’s ability to F’ around. Make peace with her, even if it’s to tell her to go bug someone else. What about the senior center next door? I’m sure they have a lot in common (death, one being there, the others so close. Maybe they could compare ailments?) Typical of old people, Sarah won’t leave until you force her to go.

For those of you who still think that Sarah didn’t do this, remember that employees of the Century Theatres did not always believe in Sarah’s abilities, we had to be taught a hard lesson. In November of 1981, the Century 22, the flagship of Century Theatres, directly across the street from Building #7, and next door to Sarah’s residence, burned down.

“I do believe… I do believe… I do believe…”
--The Cowardly Lion, The Wizard of OZ (1939)