Tuesday, May 22, 2007

NBC Passes (on) Stone


The fools at NBC have decided not to renew the contract for the man with the sexiest voice on television, Stone Phillips. I guess he was just too sexy for NBC--with that commanding voice, I would do anything he says.

ANYTHING. Are you hearing me, Stone? Any. Thing.*

Another reason not to watch NBC...

I'll leave you with this bit from Colbert Report, where Stephen and Stone had a gravitas-off:
Stephen: Dedicated surgeons worked for over twelve hours but were ultimately unable to reattach the goatee.
Stone Phillips: A word of warning, some of the images you are about to see are awesome.
Stephen: When the smoke cleared, both mugs were broken. And neither man could truly be called, world’s greatest grandpa.
Stone: But at this crab shack, the catch of the day was murder.
Stephen: Suddenly, and without warning, it became a real life game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Stone: In the immortal words of Butterfly McQueen: I don’t know nothing about birthin no babies!
Stephen: Toyboat toyboat toyboat.
Stone: Unique, New York, Unique New York Unique New York.
Stephen: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk. But the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Stone: Swim Sam, swim Sam, swim Sam. Show them you’re some swimmer. Swim like Snow White’s swan swam, you know how a snow white swan swam Sam. Six sharp shivering sharks are out to snap your limbs. So a swim well swum is a well swum swim so swim Sam swim Sam swim.

(sigh...)

psssst! Stone... call me!

*Seriously... look at those forearms!

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