Dysfunctional Love
I have spoken of my love of
Despair, Inc., the fine purveyors of
Demotivators™. Well, they have created something very special for Valentine’s Day:
BitterSweets® “The candy for the rest of us”.
We’ve all seen (and, unfortunately tasted) those Necco Wafer heart candies with little messages on them like “I luv U” and “U Sweet”. Well, Despair is never one to suck on the teet of sentimentality*: “When cruelty and holidays collide, the weak-willed find solace in self-pity and comfort foods. And now, Despair Inc. is pleased to announce that we've combined BOTH into a radical new offering.”
They come in three different varieties (Dumped, Dejected, and Dysfunctional) in six different flavors (Banana Chalk, Grape Dust, Nappy-Citric, You-Call-This-Lime?, Pink Sand and Fossilized Antacid).
"Dejected" sayings include:
I MISS MY EX - PEAKED AT 17 - MAIL ORDER - TABLE FOR 1
I CRY ON Q - U C MY BLOG? - LOSS LEADER - A FINE WHINE
MOMMY ISSUES - DIGNITY FREE - DORK MAGNET - PURE NAUSEA
WE HAD PLANS - MAIL ORDER - SETTLE 4LESS - I'M HOT INSIDE
"Dysfunctional" sayings include:
ANNULMENT - I BEEN CREEPIN - HE CAN LISTEN - GAME ON TV
CALL A 900# - P.S. I LUV ME - DO MY DISHES - BOOTY INFL8N
PAROLE IS UP! - AWFUL INLAWS - SUB PRIME - I WANT HALF
RETURN 2 PIT - NO FIX 4 DUMB - RATHER DRINK - MUTUAL DISGUST
"Dumped" sayings include:
I GOT SOBER - HE FIT U FAT - U LEFT SEATUP - USED U 4 FUN
JUST A FRIEND - BACK 2 KENNEL - DORKA PHOBIC - U HAVE A BLOG
RUSSIAN BRIDE - CELEB8 THX2U - DOG IS CUTER - TRADIN YOU IN
FORGET WE MET - KISS A FROG - SHE IS 22! - HE HAS A JOB
Because Despair is never content with just cutting into your soul, they have to pour salt in it, too: “Supplies are limited. But the pain that accompanies them may not be. “
In response to those annoying tags requesting "25 Random Things" on Facebook, Despair, Inc. came up with a fantastic T-Shirt response. Click above for a better look... and it's only $18.95 on their website.
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