Sunday, September 11, 2005

I’m a Quasi Hit!

Well, after several years, I’ve finally posted 1000 unique visitors to this website. Wow. Over 1000 people are more bored now than if I wasn’t writing at all…

Just a couple of stats to bore you with and I’ll let you get on your way, because I know you’re busy and can’t stay past your average of 260 seconds before zipping off to… well, that costs me to look up that information, so I’m just going to assume you leave my site and head immediately to the 700 Club or the NRC. After all, that is my target audience.

Only 16 of the 50 US states have visited my page… I’m definitely a Blue State kind of guy—however, Ohio, Florida and Texas did make a showing (a lot from Texas, actually…). I gotta work on the other, er, what is it? 23 states, or something like that? How many are there now? And do we really need that many? (Seriously, a North AND South Dakota? West Virginia is about as big as a zit I have on my ass right now… seriously, let’s tighten this up, people. And Rhode Island… why? I mean, really. Why?) Okay, so where was I…?

Ah, my precious… precious blog.

I’ve been visited by inhabitants of nine different countries (not counting the US). I’m not surprised by the UK or Germany… but Malaysia? Hungary (Lukas… is that you?) But I’m most surprised at Peru. Actually, not that they visited, but that they exist at all. Really, you’re the Rhode Island of South America… why isn’t someone on the UN working on this? Get a map and start working on this.

Referrals (How I LOVE Them)

The top five referrals from search engines are as follows:
1) Giada De Laurentiis brought in the most. Searches I’m particularly fond of are: “Giada Boobs” and “everyday italian host big boobs”
2) Tickle was the second biggest search on the web with such inquiries as “Finger tickle,” “tickle boys,” and my personal favorite: “tickle uncut dick.” Thanks for stopping in and I hope you enjoyed your Tickle… (you perverts)
And, finally, my personal favorite:
3) "vincent price's grave" Who the fuck ARE you people?

Lastly, I’d like to thank Google for their help when someone is searching for Slap and Tickle, they ask: Do you mean: slap and tackle? Thanks Google Geeks… thank you very, very, very much.

I would sincerely like to thank those few of you who do actually read my blog (and comment… God bless you for commenting—it validates me and my sad little life…). It is nice to know that someone, somewhere at sometime is reading what I wrote… even in Peru.

7 comments:

Brian said...

I've enjoyed reading your blog here for a good while, and I'm taking this opportuinty to thank you. I appreciate your humor.

Big Pennsylvania (blue state) Thank You! {hugs}

EGL said...

I tried posting a comment earlier but blogger was acting like blogger does and refused to allow it...I think I've been flagged!

Anyway, congrats on your stats! But I'm sure that you are WAY more popular than you think. Every stat counter has a different definition as to what a "unique" visitor is. I'm not sure what it means on mine, but I've had 6000! Don't worry, some day soon people will discover your brilliance and you'll be tops of the unrecognized blogs!

Miladysa said...

Greetings from the UK. Disappointed I was unable surprise you :(

Ariel1980 said...

North Cackalacky in the hiz-ouse....(I can't do ghetto, no matter how hard I try).

"We like you , we REALLY like you!"

Chris said...

I love you guys! EGL... Miladysa... Ari... you guys are the best. (Brian, I don't know you... however, I've put your blog into rotation (behind the above three whose blogs I adore).

Thanks, my ego is swellin'...

mariel said...

Hey, you have a comment from Italy now.. I know it doesn't sound as cool as Peru or Malaysia but maybe boast your ego a little more ;-)

ciao!

ps: the picture of your profile is you now, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, your son, your borther-in-law... looks exactly like my husband when he was 14---
very weeeeeeeird!!!

jayandkay said...

Saying hi from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Good work!