The Continuing Descent of Lindsay Lohan’s Career

With only $3.1 million for its opening weekend, there is a reason the studio decided not to let the press review Lindsay Lohan’s latest film. Well, the reviews for "I Know Who Killed Me" are in. And like Lindsay, it’s pretty sad. The film appears to be yet another nail in the coffin that is Lindsay Lohan’s career:

"After a 20 minute delay in starting the movie, I had to assume the projector was taking an ethical stand and refusing to be party to the heinous act of showing this movie" Probably the best bad review… ever.

As always, thanks to dlisted.

Spider Pig
(Choral Version)



"Why should I pay for something I get for free on TV?"
--Homer J. Simpson, The Simpsons Movie

Answer: Because The Simpsons Movie is friggin' genius.

I cannot discuss this movie without giving too much away. I'll say only this: Itchy & Scratchy have found a new level of genius, the writers and producers are geniuses, Spider Pig rocks, Homer saves the day, and--while hysterical--I hope never to see Bart naked again.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted...

I'm off for a few days for my birthday...

...Let's hope I have a little 'birthday luck'!

"Big Ginger"

"Big Ginger" is what Prince Harry's girlfriend has nicknamed him. Is this anything like "Firecrotch" for Lohan? If it is, I'm in love...

When You Care Enough To Hit Send

Check out someecards--they're hysterical. A small sampling is below. Enjoy the weekend!

For Republicans Seeking a Political Savior

I first saw this on Andrew Sullivan’s blog. It is an interesting thought posed by David Boaz at the Cato-at-Liberty blog—part of the Cato Institute:

I’d like to see a pollster ask conservative Christians two questions:

1. Would you support a presidential candidate who is divorced, has estranged relations with his children, never sees his grandchildren, rarely attends church, strongly opposes a law to ban gays from teaching school, and as governor signed the nation’s most liberal abortion law?

2. Would you support him if you knew his name was Ronald Reagan?


Makes you wonder if those idiots at FOX News have any idea who Reagan really was...

Let’s Dance Wednesday




How can you watch this video and not laugh?
How can you listen to Mika and not dance?

Two more days ‘til the weekend, kids. Enjoy the music.

(Hopefully) My Last Comment on Libby’s Clemency

Something from Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish… Bush is a colossal ass—he lies, he cheats, he lies, he swears, and he claims to be compassionate. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It Isn’t Easy Being Green

From the AP:
“The son of former Vice President Al Gore was arrested early Wednesday in Orange County on suspicion of possessing marijuana and prescription drugs.

“Albert Gore III was taken into custody about 2:15 a.m. after Orange County sheriff's deputies stopped him for driving about 100 mph in his Toyota Prius on the southbound Interstate 5.

“Deputies detected the ‘strong odor of marijuana,’ and a search of the car found marijuana and prescription drugs Vicodin, Valium, Xanax and Adderall, an amphetamine used to treat attention deficit disorder, Amormino said.”

REALLY? 100mph in a freakin’ Prius?! No way! How is that possible? I thought pot was supposed to slow you down. Al III got game! He and the Bush daughters should get together and party!

Keep Drinking

Johnny Walker has come up with an interesting television ad campaign—I’m not sure where they are running these, but I’m almost certain they are running in China (big hint: the last one is in Chinese). The campaign is “Keep Walking.” They are all fascinating to watch—particularly the first one.

Happy Fourth of July!

Hometown Hero (Part II)

In our last installment, San Jose's pride and joy was a drug dealer, being sued by Hershey's for selling pot in packaging simliar to their "delicious" confections. Now, we have a hot dog eating champ. Will the glory never end?

From the Associated Press:

Joey Chestnut is officially weighed in for Wednesday's Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest at Nathan's Famous at New York's Coney Island, Tuesday, July 3, 2007, in New York. Chestnut, 23, of San Jose, shattered the record held by Takeru Kobayashi of Japan by downing 59 1/2 "HDBs" _ hot dogs and buns _ during the Southwest Regional Hot Dog Eating Championship at the Arizona Mills Mall in suburban Tempe. Chestnut placed second in last year's Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest, consuming 52 hot dogs. (AP Photo / Louis Lanzano)

Greatest Marketing Gimmick… EVER.

7-Eleven is tying in with the release of The Simpsons Movie this summer by re-imagining 12 of their stores as Kwik-E-Marts—both inside and out. Genius! Absolute genius!

The employees are in Apu-styled Kwik-E-Mart smocks, the hot dogs are “bun-o-licious”, they sell Buzz Cola, Krusty-O’s Cereal, and best of all: Squishees! Silly? Yes. But there are lines of people waiting to get into a friggin’ 7-Eleven! When has that ever happened before?

Unfortunately, they were out of Buzz Cola when I arrived, but they had plenty of Krusty-O’s and Squishees. I got a very delicious "WooHoo! Blue Vanilla Squishee" (mmmm… Vanilla Squishee… aaaaggh…). I did appreciate the sign on the front door that read: “Thank you for loitering.”

The best part: as I was leaving the Indian guy behind the counter—without a hint of irony—said, “Thank you, come again.” No, Apu, thank you.

Bush Commutes Libby Prison Sentence
(Founding Fathers Weep Uncontrollably)


traitor


Jeez… even Paris Hilton did 23 days for driving on a suspended license. But operate in what best can be described as a treasonous act? Commuted sentence.

Nice.

We’ll just add that to the long list of Bush Administration offences.

Am I the only one who realizes that the man who has sworn—with his hand on the bible, no less—to uphold The Constitution of the United States, as pretty much just shredded it?

I’m sure our do-nothing Congress will be all flustered for the cameras and then will quietly go on with their summer vacation.

Why I Love CNN

While CNN put The Idiot on Larry King for a freakin’ hour—leave it to Anderson Cooper to cut her shit down. If I wasn’t in love with Anderson before, I love him more now.

Here are a few YouTube clips from Anderson Cooper:

What I Wouldn't Give...

...for tickets to this show! Just look at the cast and tell me you don't agree. (If you don't... don't tell me, I'll just be disappointed in you).

The Most Important News Story… EVER



Paris has been released from jail. Justice has been served. Her debt, repaid. Let the church bells ring!

And I’m supposed to give a shit because…?

Honestly, I don’t get it. If the press hadn’t kept a constant watch on this, I would have forgotten all about it. Why won’t they let me forget about Paris Hilton? Why, God… why?

And who are these fucking idiots that are seriously concerned about what happens to her? This is what you are concerned about? Paris… Hilton. Not this. Not this. Not this. But this.

Douche-bags. All of ‘em… f’ing douche-bags. Especially, the guy below. He’s the douche in the douce-bag.

Monday Debrief

I saw Kathy Griffin this weekend at the old Paul Masson Winery. Hysterical. Absolutely hysterical. I can’t stop thinking about her “Paris Hilton walk.” If you get a chance to see her—see her! It’s worth it.

A co-worker is doing a bit of modeling for a student who owns an online pants company called Bononos. If you’re athletic and looking for pants that will accommodate your “athletic thighs” like Louis, then this is the site for you. Me? I need something for fat thighs and gut, but no ass. Where’s my site? (besides this.)

fyi: Yes, that's how the picture is posted on their site... it's their joke and I'm not going to mess with it...

Happy Gay Pride!

Sometimes, you just have to celebrate the love...

Gay and lesbian kisses:



Francesco D'Macho & Francois Sagat first kiss (talk about an amazing first kiss… wow.)


[Double-click on this and you'll go to the 'Age Confirmation' page at YouTube--For goodness' sake, they're just kissing! Sexy, sexy kissing, but still kissing. 'phobes...]

No One Under 17 Admitted...



Apparently, my use of the words penis and gay have given this blog an NC-17 rating. Who knew I was that salty? Fuckin' A!