Slap & Tickle

Thankfully, We Only Need One…

Psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin claim to have catalogued over 200 reasons why people have sex. The actual number is 237, which I find amazing because, if I were to ask any of my friends their response would be, “I need a reason?”

They asked 440 men and women to get the results. What guys did they ask? Did anyone answer, “Well, I’m a guy… and I was awake”? because that would be my answer.

Some of the reasons included are:

No. 35 “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about”
No. 78 “I was on the ‘rebound’ (That’s pretty much the only way I get laid…)
No. 141 “I wanted the person to love me” (And we do love you—God bless the
whores!)
No. 46 “I wanted to get a raise” (you’d better be really good…)
No. 52 “Someone offered me money to do it” (God bless the whores!)
No. 133 “I wanted to be nice” (Thank you!)
No. 53 “I wanted to feel closer to God” (God bless the whores!)
No. 107 “I wanted to say ‘thank you.’” (No… thank you)
No. 61 “I wanted to be popular” (God bless the whores!)
No. 70 “Someone dared me” (God bless the easily manipulated)
No. 82 “I wanted to get out of doing something” (I gotta try that the next time
someone cute asks me to help them move: “Instead of that…”)
No. 121 “I didn’t know how to say ‘no.’” (Can we get this person’s address?)
No. 87 “I wanted to change the topic of conversation” (I would love to
be a fly on the wall for that conversation)
No. 15 “I was horny” (Really? That’s the best you can do?)
No. 51 "I wanted to give someone a sexually transmitted disease" (Who said romance is dead?)

It’s almost the weekend, kids. Go find yourself a reason and get busy!