Why I Love CNN

While CNN put The Idiot on Larry King for a freakin’ hour—leave it to Anderson Cooper to cut her shit down. If I wasn’t in love with Anderson before, I love him more now.

Here are a few YouTube clips from Anderson Cooper:

What I Wouldn't Give...

...for tickets to this show! Just look at the cast and tell me you don't agree. (If you don't... don't tell me, I'll just be disappointed in you).

The Most Important News Story… EVER



Paris has been released from jail. Justice has been served. Her debt, repaid. Let the church bells ring!

And I’m supposed to give a shit because…?

Honestly, I don’t get it. If the press hadn’t kept a constant watch on this, I would have forgotten all about it. Why won’t they let me forget about Paris Hilton? Why, God… why?

And who are these fucking idiots that are seriously concerned about what happens to her? This is what you are concerned about? Paris… Hilton. Not this. Not this. Not this. But this.

Douche-bags. All of ‘em… f’ing douche-bags. Especially, the guy below. He’s the douche in the douce-bag.

Monday Debrief

I saw Kathy Griffin this weekend at the old Paul Masson Winery. Hysterical. Absolutely hysterical. I can’t stop thinking about her “Paris Hilton walk.” If you get a chance to see her—see her! It’s worth it.

A co-worker is doing a bit of modeling for a student who owns an online pants company called Bononos. If you’re athletic and looking for pants that will accommodate your “athletic thighs” like Louis, then this is the site for you. Me? I need something for fat thighs and gut, but no ass. Where’s my site? (besides this.)

fyi: Yes, that's how the picture is posted on their site... it's their joke and I'm not going to mess with it...

Happy Gay Pride!

Sometimes, you just have to celebrate the love...

Gay and lesbian kisses:



Francesco D'Macho & Francois Sagat first kiss (talk about an amazing first kiss… wow.)


[Double-click on this and you'll go to the 'Age Confirmation' page at YouTube--For goodness' sake, they're just kissing! Sexy, sexy kissing, but still kissing. 'phobes...]

No One Under 17 Admitted...



Apparently, my use of the words penis and gay have given this blog an NC-17 rating. Who knew I was that salty? Fuckin' A!

Romney's Boys

I’ve been particularly displeased with the Democrats lately (their inability to get their shit together, capitulating to Dubya, etc.) but I have had no desire to vote for a Republican for President.

Until now.

I’m not into Mitt, per se, but his boys? Hubba-fucking-hubba! The boys have their own blog (isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that hip?). But the best part is that totally fake “we’re just a big normal, fun family” BS they push.

Isn’t is just so much fun that they get to “make fun of each other publicly”? You guys! And boy, do those Romney boys love their baseball! Lots of shots of them at “awesome” ballparks! You guys are just so normal, I almost forget your Mormon.

The thing is, I’m eating up with a spoon. Sure, I know it’s cheesy—but I love me some cheese! And those boys are mighty easy on the eyes. Does it bother me that they are most-likely homophobes? Probably not as much as it bothers them that gays are drooling over their hotness.

Especially, Tagg… well, maybe it’s Matt. Then again, Ben’s sporting a groovy beard—and I dig that. …sigh… decisions… decisions… You know, I think I’m going to go with Josh. I’ve been seriously shvitzing over Josh. Yes, definitely Josh.

So, Josh, maybe we can catch a ballgame together? Call me.

"Gilbert Got A Job!"


I start my new job baking this Friday/Saturday. It’s a one-day a week gig, at a "cupcakery" in beautiful San Mateo, CA. I work only one day a week: Fridays from Midnight until 6:00am—possibly 8:00, if it’s really busy.
This is for my externship at PCI. I have to get 240 hours in to get my degree. If I were working a typical 8 hour shift, I would be done in 6 weeks. At my current rate of one six-hour shift a week, I will have my externship completed sometime next spring. Hey, I don’t want to tax myself…

I’m looking forward to the job. I worked this last weekend to see if they liked me and I liked the job. I guess since they offered me the job, they liked me. Or, they were up against a wall… either way, I’m a baker!

The sleep thing isn’t too much of a problem. I slept for four hours before my shift and then another four when I got home after—so I was able to get a full night’s sleep and still be up by 10:00am. All in all, not too shabby.

Hopefully, I’ll have some fun tales of the bakery to tell—I’m praying none of them will end with “…and they had no choice but to let me go.” OR “…I just kept running until they stopped chasing me.”

[If anyone out there is curious about the title of this piece, it comes from when I used to work at the movie theatres years ago. I met with this kid—Gabriel—for his first ever interview. He was so nervous, it was kind of sweet. That night, I called his house to let him know he got the job and asked for Gabriel. His uncle answered the phone, and when I told him where I was calling from, he yelled out to the family, “Hey, Gilbert got a job!” It wasn’t so much that he yelled this out to the family, as his amazed tone that Gilbert actually managed to get a job. (Gilbert didn’t last too long—I guess his family knew him pretty well…)

After that, whenever one of the managers would finish and interview and we were going to hire the person, we’d walk in the office and call out, “Gilbert got a job!”]

Matthew Shepard, Part II

Have you heard about Aaron Hall? No? Neither has most of America, yet on April 12, he was beaten and left to die by two homophobes in Indiana. The reason no one has heard is because only one paper has reported about it. The local paper. No other paper has picked up the story. Good thing they aren’t reporting on anything frivolous like Paris Hilton…

The only people covering it are the bloggers. Read about it HERE and HERE.

Worst Idea... EVER

As reported in Variety, there is a plan to remake The Big Chill. First, why can't Hollywood come up with something original? Two, why must they remake a great movie, instead of finding some old piece of crap no one ever saw and fix it? Third, if you're going to remake a good movie, how about remaking something where the cast couldn't easily reprise their roles?

Apparently, they are going with an all-black cast to be "edgy." Will Eddie Murphy be playing all the parts?

[UPDATE: A friend of mine has suggested a title for this all-black version: We Be Chillin'.]

A Sixteen-Year Wait… Over.

When I was a kid, I saw the movie Earthquake with Charlton Heston wearing these really cool shoes. (I think back then, I called them ‘groovy’.) I searched high and low for them, but couldn’t find them—mostly, because they were out of style. Then, one day, I happened by MacDonald’s Department Store (not to be confused with the lowland Scot McDonald’s of French Fry fame…) and saw them. Yes, they were no longer in style, but they were good enough for Chuck to save greater Los Angeles, by gum, they were good enough for me!

Thus, started my rather unfortunate habit of wanting something and never letting it go, even when it would be better to move on. When I was a kid, I saw a picture of a castle in National Geographic and I was fascinated by it. Ten years later, my brother’s girlfriend was in my room, saw the image on my bulletin board and said she’d been there! Eventually, the questions get answered, one just needs to develop patience—a continually difficult lesson for me to learn.

Jump forward to 1991, where one of my favorite shows was Northern Exposure. I absolutely adored it. It was funny, quirky, and was supported by an amazing cast of characters and actors. Plus, I had a huge thing for John Corbett and developed my eternal love for the nice Jewish boy from Rob Morrow.*

One of my favorite episodes was in the second season, titled “Spring Break.” Yes, this was the infamous Running of the Bulls episode: all the men in town streaking. (Any chance to see young Mr. Corbett with his shirt off was a good episode in my book.)

In this final scene (the running of the bulls) there was this amazing song—sweet, mysterious, lovely. I’d never heard it before or since. I only heard it while watching this episode. Later, I bought the VHS tape of that episode, strictly to get the information on the name of the song. Neither the box nor the credits listed the songs.

So, for sixteen long years I’ve wondered about this song. It was so great, surely it will make an appearance somewhere else, right? Nope. Nada. Zilch.

However, today, I was reading the A.V. Club at The Onion and someone posed the question on Ask The A.V. Club regarding a song from another TV show. I thought about writing them, but then thought that maybe, just maybe it might be located somewhere on the great world wide web. Three clicks later, I found it.

Just like that. Click. Click. Click.

TV.com—which I’d never heard of until Google showed me the way—has extensive information on Northern Exposure. I found my episode and along with all the other details on this particular episode (writer, director, guest star, quotes) was music. I knew four of the eight songs, so I put the first one into iTunes, clicked to listen, and viola!

The song is by Lindsay Buckingham** (of Fleetwood Mac fame). I don’t know if it holds up for sixteen years, but listening to D.W. Suite brings a smile to my face—even after sixteen long years.

So, that’s one more off the list! Now I need to see if I can find that shirt Peter Gallagher wore in Summer Lovers…

[UPDATE: Well, I downloaded the entire song (I was only able to sample 30 seconds on iTunes) and it's a piece of shit. The part they played on Northern Exposure was the first minute of the SIX MINUTE-LONG SONG. Six friggin' minutes! The rest of the song completely sucks, it goes off in two other pointless directions. Awful. Just awful. Maybe some things are better left unfound...]


*Still crushing on Corbett... Morrow, not so much.
**Coincidentally, he is appearing at The Mountain Winery in Saratoga, CA this Thursday night.

Schadenfreude

I have to admit I’m thoroughly enjoying this and this and this…

Picture (c) 2007 NTL World

Another (Big, Thick, Uncut) Point for the Gay Man

I love me some Andrew Sullivan—not only is he smart and has a great blog, but he’s pretty easy on the eyes.

However, if I didn’t love him for all the political information he disseminates on his blog, I love him more for this bit of information of a scientific study on penis length:

“…the British Journal of Urology (BJU) International, finds that the average erect penis is about 5.5 to 6.2 inches long and about 4.7 to 5.1 inches in circumference.”

For once in my life, I’m above average. Thank you, Andrew, thank you very much.

Seriously, 5.5 inches is the average? That means that there are guys on either side of that scale. I have been with enough guys and watched enough porn to know that there is a significant number of men out there with way more than 5.5 inches…

While the study did not stress the correlation between sexuality and penis size, I guess the guys on the lower end of the scale must be straight. Go look at the straight porn: big boobs, okay penises. Then check out the gay porn: Big, Bigger, Biggest!

Yes, I know I have a vast collection of porn, but that is because I'm usually obsessing over a particular actor*... and for the articles.

Go on straight boys, get married. Whatever works for you. I’ll have to be content to never be married… and to be hung huge.**






*Francesco D’Macho, Jason Ridge, Johnny Hazzard, Chad Hunt, Ken Ryker, Rick Chase, that guy from Detention that can swallow at 13” kielbasa (Matt Summers?), etc.

**SOURCE: Julie Raia, 1991 (seriously, she’s one of the few women to ever see it and that’s what she said—of course, she’s probably comparing it to a straight guy’s dick)

What. The. F*ck?

Paris Hilton was released to house arrest today, after serving only five days of her 45 day sentence. I guess money and infamy makes you above the law.

If this happened to me, my ass would be in jail. Yours too. One can only hope that the "medical reasons" stated for her release were that they did not want her to infect the other inmates with whatever skanky diseases she most probably is carrying.

She is only a couple more years of hard partying and bad plastic surgery before she looks like this:

In a way, I do feel bad for her: she obviously has no one around her who really cares for her. If she did, they would have her serve out her full sentence in jail so she could learn a serious lesson. She will not change--and if (when?) she kills someone with her drunk driving, she had better go to prison--not jail, but PRISON. I'm talking San Quentin.

She has no respect for the law or anyone else--including herself. This will end badly, of that, I am certain.

Das Popemobile

Bit of a ruckus at The Vatican today, as someone tried to jump into Pope Benedict XVI’s Jeep as he was greeting crowds at St. Peter’s Square. What cracks me up about the reporting of this incident is that everyone states the pontiff was tooling around in his “popemobile.” Carl Kasell, the NPR newscaster with the extremely serious and professional tone, kept saying “popemobile.” I giggled through the entire story.

It’s not everyday that the Pope being attacked can make you laugh… then again, I am talking about Benedict XVI—not exactly a man who doesn’t make one all warm and fuzzy inside:

Show Your Support

If you don’t know Mike Jones, you are missing out on an important person in gay history: he’s the man that showed the complete hypocrisy of the Christian Right’s anti-gay movement, by outing Rev. Ted Haggard. If being gay can be ‘prayed away’, why couldn’t Ted do it? Because it can’t be.

Mike wrote a book on the experience--on sale now at Amazon. Buy it. Read it. Talk about it.

UPDATE: I read the book... um, it's okay. Some of it rang false to me, but I do believe him when he says that Ted was seeing him for several years. I think he helped to hasten the Republican fall, but I don't think he's quite as angelic as he tries to sell us on the fact that he is. A quick and easy read, with nary a big word to slow you down...

Keith Olbermann: “The entire government has failed us.”




I agree whole-heartedly. As a Democrat, I'm done. Finished. Game over. I will not give another dime, nor will I lend any support to the Democrats. They guys had ONE job mandated by the American people: end this. End it now. As bad as the Republicans are, at least they have the will to continue. Pelosi and the rest of the Democrats just gave up!

I am disgusted with all of them...

Worst Headline... Ever.

Oh, if you didn't know anything about what's happening in San Francisco politics right now, the above headline from the San Francisco Chronicle would appear to be extremely racist. Even knowing about what’s going on the headline seems ill-advised (it is San Francisco, after all).

NBC Passes (on) Stone

The fools at NBC have decided not to renew the contract for the man with the sexiest voice on television, Stone Phillips. I guess he was just too sexy for NBC--with that commanding voice, I would do anything he says.

ANYTHING. Are you hearing me, Stone? Any. Thing.*

Another reason not to watch NBC...

I'll leave you with this bit from Colbert Report, where Stephen and Stone had a gravitas-off:

Stephen: Dedicated surgeons worked for over twelve hours but were ultimately unable to reattach the goatee.

Stone Phillips: A word of warning, some of the images you are about to see are awesome.

Stephen: When the smoke cleared, both mugs were broken. And neither man could truly be called, world’s greatest grandpa.

Stone: But at this crab shack, the catch of the day was murder.

Stephen: Suddenly, and without warning, it became a real life game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Stone: In the immortal words of Butterfly McQueen: I don’t know nothing about birthin no babies!

Stephen: Toyboat toyboat toyboat.

Stone: Unique, New York, Unique New York Unique New York.

Stephen: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk. But the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Stone: Swim Sam, swim Sam, swim Sam. Show them you’re some swimmer. Swim like Snow White’s swan swam, you know how a snow white swan swam Sam. Six sharp shivering sharks are out to snap your limbs. So a swim well swum is a well swum swim so swim Sam swim Sam swim.

(sigh...)

psssst! Stone... call me!

*Seriously... look at those forearms!

Our Next President

As my friend Scooter said, “Can’t we just elect him now and be done with it?” Oh, man, after this speech, I hope so…