Slap & Tickle

My latest purchase in electronics experience is finally coming to a close. My life seems to have been upended just trying to get these things to arrive and to get them set up.

The TV finally arrived. I got a call from another building in our complex asking if I had ordered a TV. Becky said that there was no name on the invoice, but my phone number was listed. I also couldn’t figure out why they would send it the Career Management Center, because I have never had anything to do with them—why wouldn’t the package go directly to the mailroom?

When Manny, the deliver guy, handed me the delivery invoice, it did not have my name or any information related to me, except for my phone number. It wasn’t until later that I noticed the 800.com invoice (on the side, in a clear, easy to read pouch) noting my name, proper mailing address (both home and work), my phone (both home and work) and my e-mail address.

I guess I got what I paid for with the free shipping.

Now I’m waiting for UPS to deliver the DVD player. The DVD player has been resting comfortably at the UPS hub in San Bruno since yesterday morning. It has taken a week for my DVD player to crisscross the country in the most inefficient possible way. I guess the last 10 miles are the hardest.

And now, back to my new TV.

I got the unit home (not an easy task, it weighs a ton) and hooked up (again, not easy as not only does the TV weigh a ton, but it fills almost the entire space in the entertainment unit) and damn, if it didn’t look great. My sister and I sat staring in awe for about 30 minutes before we decided to turn on the TV. It was either awe or the fact that we were exhausted trying to install the behemoth.

The picture is amazing, and clear… who knew the world could look so big? The stereo sound is much improved from the old 22” TV. I know it may sound trite, but an extra five inches makes all the difference in the world. Man, if five does that much to a TV, imagine what I could do with an extra five… heck, I’d settle for an extra two.

I moved the 22” into my room—replacing the very small 12 inch-er that I’ve had for about 14 years. Originally, I wanted the new TV in my room, but my sister convinced me to put the new TV in the living room and the older one in my bedroom. When I say “convinced” I mean she nagged me to the point that I could either act childish and pout, or just capitulate. I’m French, so capitulation comes naturally. You should see me on a date, Me: I’ll top. Date: No, I will. Me: Let me just grab my ankles…

Speaking of grabbing ankles… my room is now much better suited for watching porn (a favorite pastime). Things sort of jump out at you, whereas before I spent a lot of time squinting and wondering what the heck was going on. In fact, I used to worry about plot and acting! Now I sit slack-jawed and have an even greater feeling of inadequacy. Ahhhh… Life is good.

Once the DVD player is installed I can call to have the digital cable box installed… I think that will start a whole other series of annoyances for me. But if my life weren’t thrown completely awry for something so insignificant, it wouldn’t be my life, now would it?