Slap & Tickle

Eduardo Verástegui: Douche


Yeah, Eduardo Verástegui’s pretty, but he’s also pushing for Yes on Proposition 8. Well, he certainly is a pretty looking bigot isn’t he? You know, I think he deserves a Spank Bank for being so pretty—in fact, I’m not even going to bank him… I’m going to look into his eyes and say “I do.” That’s right, Eduardo, I’m gay-marrying you in my dreams! And you’ll like it. Take that, bigot.


I would also like to add that in our “marriage” he’s a power bottom who can’t get enough of taking it up the ass. I hear the homophobes have problem with being thought of as liking the back door action, so I’m going to piss him off as much as he pisses me off. Speaking of… Did I mention he’s a piss-pig, too? (Um… did I cross a line? Was that too much? Well, it’s not enough for him—he loves the Golden Shower!)


To all you gay boys out there, your mission is to imagine Eduardo shirtless and then I want you to J.O. to the picture. Yes, it will be a struggle, but you can combat this bigotry with the tools that God gave us as gay men: Sarcasm… no, wait I mean fashion first. No. Damn, it’s on the tip of my tongue… Oh, yes: our ability to fall for the worst guys in the world, which is exactly what that douche Eduardo Verástegui is: the worst.

For you straight guys out there, your mission is to imagine Eduardo shirtless, too… but he throws like a girl.

Thus endeth the rant…

Vote No on 8 and support love and oppose bigotry.