Slap & Tickle

More Notable Quotables

Since my last Notable Quotables was met with complete and utter apathy, I thought I would do it again. Here are a few more... ah, good times... good times...

For some, I guess you had to be there—but they made me laugh (so kiss my ass).

“It looked like Cher peed all over the floor.”
—Mark M., describing the beautiful white tile flooring at The Left Bank Menlo Park

“She is more liberal than ‘liberalism’”
—My mother, describing Senator Barbara Boxer’s political views (if you couldn't guess, mom's a big ole Republican't).

“I was sitting on a barstool, when I realized it was 1:00am and that I needed to find my clothes and leave the bar."
—Shawn A., phoning his boyfriend back in the US about his night out in Amsterdam.

“The reason I got a dog is because chickens don’t love you.”
—Allison, answering my question, “Why do you have so many dogs?”

“I thought he was calling him ‘Ernest.’”
—Scotty Mo on Tom Hanks final words, “Earn this” from Saving Private Ryan. (Frankly, I hadn’t a clue what he was saying…)

“So, why didn’t he [Mini-me] speak? Was his voice too small?”
—Kimba M., inquiring why the character Mini-me did not speak in Austin Powers 2.

"I think this meat is bad. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop eating it; I just think it's gone bad."
—Lesli C. at Taco Bell

“Where were we when they were handing out all these pacts with the devil? In line at Taco Bell?”
—Jill P., on yet another friend’s success (hopefully, the meat wasn’t bad…)

“He’s big as an earthquake, with the voice of a girl.”
—Overheard it in an elevator in San Francisco

“It was a ‘jeans’ fur... a fun fur... for casual wear.”
—My mom, desperately trying to convince me she wasn’t too overdressed by wearing a fur coat to go to the movies.