That’s All Folks

We lost two good ones today…

“Moneypenny! What gives?”
Lois Maxwell, better known as Miss Moneypenny in over a dozen Bond films passed away this weekend. In my book she is the only Moneypenny. Granted, she was getting a little long in the tooth for the role of the woman pining over an increasingly younger Bond, but she was a constant. Her last Bond film was A View to A Kill—also known as a giant piece of shit. Not a good way to exit. I didn’t know that she won a Golden Globe in 1947 for her work in a Shirley Temple film. More about her at The New York Times.

Call of the Champions
Being a complete and total klutz, I’m a big Olympic-phile. I love the pomp & circumstance, the drama, the history, etc. of the Olympics (I get all misty during the opening ceremonies and cry when the torch is lit. Yep. Tears streaming down my face. I’m such a sap). So, when an athlete as amazing as Al Oerter passes, I feel it must be noted.

Oerter competed in the discus event in FOUR consecutive Olympics (1956 – 1968)—winning a gold medal each time! Sure, egomaniac Carl Lewis had a similar achievement, but his was even more remarkable, as The New York Times noted: “Oerter’s sweep was all the more remarkable because in each case he broke the Olympic record, beat the world record holder, overcame an injury and was not the favorite to win. His winning throws were 184 feet 11 inches in Melbourne in 1956, 194-2 in Rome in 1960, 200-1 in Tokyo in 1964 and 212-6 in Mexico City in 1968.” Unlike Lewis, Mr. Oerter was humble in his victory: “The first one, I was really young; the second, not very capable; the third, very injured; the fourth, old.”

He came close to winning a spot on the 1980 Olympic team (coming in fourth) and attempted to get on the team again in 1984 at the age of 47, but tore a calf muscle and had to bow out. He continued to compete in events for men over 40 until his 60’s and worked as a motivational speaker.

Folsom!

Sunday was the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. A wholesome family-affair celebrating the leather fetish scene and those that like to watch (me)!

It’s much like many small town festivals, except the crowd is mostly men, mostly half-naked, and there are people flogging and peeing on each other. I’m sure they have similar festivals in Kansas and Oklahoma…

I did manage to see some wonderful things… most of which I can’t show you.

However, here are some of the highlights of what I saw:

Celebrities!

Batman & Robin(?)

Porn Stars!

The Uber-Sexy Jason Ridge (with the camera)

Alex Collack (looking right at the camera… and into my soul!)

Men in Lederhosen (wtf?)

Men in Love

Games!

Men Playing Twisted Twister

Lots of Men in Chaps

Men without Pants (note the shadow…)

LOTS of People

In case you were wondering… some women did show up, however, while she did wear a “wrap” of sorts, this young lady seems to have misplaced her bra!

Not Shy...

And I did manage to find a few old friends… but they requested I not post any pictures:

(Oops! Sorry, buddy!)

Lecture of A Lifetime

Randy Pausch, a 46-year-old Carnegie Mellon computer science professor, gave his last lecture last week, and it is amazing. Professor Pausch is dying of pancreatic cancer and only has a few months to live. However, he is still in remarkable shape and is a brilliant and compelling speaker.

Here are parts one and two—the lecture is quite long (many more parts) but it is well worth it. It’s heartbreaking that such a brilliant mind will not be with us much longer. But it is heartwarming to watch such a brilliant speaker at his peak.

Here’s to achieving your dreams.

My Kinda Town...


Off to Chicago for a week. When I return, I hope to have some wonderful stories--happy, happy stories. (Okay, I'm hoping to get lucky...).

Have a great week!

Keep The Fifth Graders Away From Me...

Certainly explains a lot, doesn't it?

In Defense of Britney Spears

I’ve heard a lot about Britney Spears’ performance on the VMA’s last weekend and I’m shocked at how gleeful everyone seems to be at this poor girl’s folly. So far, I have seen only one brave and rational soul stand up and speak out for the poor girl:



Personally, I have not seen the performance, but I think someone needs to defend the girl’s actions.

I will do just that, right after I watch her performance:



Um… I got nothing.

Some People are Just Unlucky (i.e. ME)

I started driving when I was 18. Yes, I procrastinated. The whole thing scared me: 2 ton vehicle + “you can kill someone” + “Red Asphalt” = scared to drive. Eventually, I got over it and drove without incident for over 23 years.

Then, in 2005 some idiot came flying out of a parking lot, hit me and ruined my perfect record. After filing claims and going for a month without my car, I finally got my car back. But I’ve been forever a little skittish driving. I kept waiting for someone else to smash into me.

So it surprised me a few months ago when I was driving home from a booty call and merging onto a busy road in SF when I rear-ended a woman! Never a good thing... It cost me $800 and I’m sure my insurance will go up, so I’m even more skittish about driving.

And then today happened…

As I was driving home, traffic on Page Mill Road was very slow, as a bus rear-ended a car. It looked as if they were stuck together. It stayed with me the whole way home: you never know when someone isn’t paying attention and they run right into you. I did it, others do all the time.

There are four lanes in the exit off of 880 South onto Hamilton Avenue: (starting from the left) Lane #1 is a left only turn, Lane #2 is a left only turn, Lane #3 can go left or straight, and Lane #4 is right turn only. I was in Lane #3 going left. Crusher was in Lane #2, deciding that he wanted to go straight…

Quick quantum physics lesson: two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

The bastard hit me. For your viewing pleasure, a satellite photo of the intersection is below. Note the lanes are clearly marked, note how I’m turning and how he’s hitting me! My insurance is going to skyrocket (if they don’t drop me) and I’m sure this will be another point on my driving record—all crap I don’t need.

Tomorrow I think I’ll take the train to work, because I don’t think my poor car can take anymore…

Katey Sagal: Singer

Last night I went to The Plush Room and saw Katey Sagal perform. WOW! She was fantastic. I knew the woman could sing, but I didn’t know she could SING!

I was so impressed, after the show I bought her album (she signed it) and today, I went to her website and bought another of her albums.

Ms. Sagal puts on a FANTASTIC show—her band was great and the audience (small, but good sized for a Wednesday cabaret show) was really into her. I was impressed by the number of younger people there (in their 20’s). With cabaret acts, I expect to be making up the younger demographic.

Jilly-bean and I met this wonderful couple who recently moved from New Orleans (they loved the show, too) and a couldn’t-be-cuter young, hipster gay couple sitting directly in front of us enjoyed the show as well.

She writes most of her songs, so she is not singing The American Songbook, which is new for me. I’m used to Andrea Marcovicci (whom I adore), but this was so different, yet equally entertaining.

Katey Sagal continues through September 8, and if you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area, I strongly encourage you to see the show. And if she’s coming to your town, go and see her, you won’t be disappointed!

Friday Diversions

How much planning went into this?




Puberty: God’s Cruel Joke

Remember your teen years fondly? This will remind you of all the horrors. Thankfully, I never had a coach as “helpful” as this guy… can you say “creepy”?

I have to say I never—I mean NEVER have discussed my wet dreams with anyone. Apparently, in the 1950’s, it was just part of a casual conversation.






Have a safe and fun weekend! Watch out for those nocturnal emissions!

Quotable

“I don’t know why he tried to kill himself… he could have just had his nose done.”
--The most compassionate Scotty, on Owen Wilson’s suicide attempt

Get Her a MENSA Application!



TRANSCRIPT: "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us."

Sadly, Miss South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton, did NOT win Miss Teen USA. Apparently, you can’t be a total f’ing idiot and take home The Prize. But you can be in the top five.

Mondays Suck... Let's Dance!

I’m off work today (mini vacation). Let’s celebrate with a little dancing!

What do you mean you don’t feel like dancing? Watch the oh-so-adorable Mattew Williams and you’ll dance along—oh, yes. You. Will.

And You Think I’ve Got Too Much Time on My Hands…

I first saw the unintentionally funny comic panels on Yes but No but Yes, but found even more at the source, Super Dickey. Below are some of my favorite panels—anyone who says that superheroes aren’t gay needs to answer to these panels:


"Oh, Archie..."

Eeewwwwww!

Yes, Batman... what have you done with Robin?

All this is because of penis envy?

I know what Batman is doing... but what is Robin up to?

"Hold on, Billy. This is going to hurt at first..."

I'd be done, too. That stuff stings!

The Horror... The Horror...

The three scarriest words in the English language: David Hasselhoff sings.



His voice is okay I guess--but certainly not worthy of idolization in Germany. It's just his attempt at emoting that makes this truly painful to watch. Plus, it is Hasselhoff and he's nucking futz. The ending is the best: listen to his voice quiver. I finally get what Randy means when he says "You sound a little pitchy."

Handbasket? Check.
Reservations? Check.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

Weekend Diversion #1: Shotgun Honeymoon





This guy is the cousin of my sister’s best friend (talk about Six Degrees…). Anyhow, he’s got a nice voice and he’s damn cute. Not available yet on iTunes…

Alexyss Tylor Warns The Gays



Remember Alexyss Tylor? Ms. Vagina Power is back with another hysterical video--this one blaming white men for subverting young black men because they want the young black men “to screw ‘em all in the ass…”

As always, Ms. Tylor has no facts to back up her statements, but I really don’t know if there is any kind of study on men who "suck a dick up till they hiccup..."

Ignorance is bliss… but in this case, it’s hysterical. Yes, she’s a racist. Yes, she’s a homophobe. Yes, she’s dumb as a box of rocks (and not the smart rocks, either). But, she provides endless entertainment—and for that, I am grateful.

I Like ‘Em Large

A lot has been written lately on the NYFD calendar’ cover guy for 2008—Michael Bistera—who was in a guys going wild video showing off his fire hose (nsfw). God love him, the guy is hung huge.

Due to the “scandal,” the NYFD said they were going to pull the calendar and forfeit some $150,000 for fire safety and recruitment programs.

Today, I staggered outside (I'm home with the flu) and found they had mailed the calendar! I thought I got through on some sort of loophole, but when I went to check their website I found the purchase link still active. Upon listening carefully to the press reports, they will not be participating in future calendars.

This is confusing to me: a bunch of firemen shirtless isn’t damaging the department’s credibility, but showing your junk 4 years before you join the fire department does? No, they aren’t upset that he flashed his johnson, they’re upset he’s bigger than they are.

I guess the lesson is: People are afraid of big dicks...

Personally, I think the NYFD will rethink the issue when this calendar sells more than previous calendars and they make a ton of money. That lesson is obvious: Big dicks rule!

PostSecret



PostSecret is one of the most moving sites on the web. Started as an art project a few years ago, Frank Warren had anyone who wished to anonymously mail their secrets on a homemade postcard to his home. The project spawned PostSecret.com—an ongoing art project and the largest advertisement-free Blog on the web—as well as two books.

Some secrets are funny, some strange, many bizarre, and some heartbreakingly tragic—all are fascinating. Every week 20 new secrets are posted on the site to amuse, beguile, scare, sadden and to let others know they are not alone.

This week Frank has posted a video montage of the secrets.

I Have Got to Get Me A Cable Access Show!



Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

Is it just me, or is it pretty much the funniest thing ever when she struggled to get up after doing The Worm? It's just me, then? Alrighty...