Monday, October 31, 2005

Scooter Indicted!

I don’t know all the details, but my sources tell me that Scooter has been indicted in the “Plame-gate” scandal. I’m not shocked at all.

First, I think this explains the failures of the Bush administration. Scooter was the Muppet Theatre gofer (not even the theatre manager, what is he doing as Dick Cheney’s chief of staff? Is this the first time someone so clearly unsuited for a job has been propped up by this administration? No. Harriet Meier and Michael Brown are two examples of this failed policy.

Note: I believe I found a picture of the two of them from many years ago—look at Dick, he looks human there—oh, how the years of corporate greed have sucked the very life from him, or is it the fact that his heart has been removed and never replaced?

Would you be surprised to learn that Sam the Bald Eagle is Rumsfeld’s chief of staff? It explains quite a bit. While FOX “news” has avoided commenting on this, my investigation on this matter will be thorough and embarrassing to this administration.

I intend to prove that there is a vast conspiracy of Muppets throughout the White House and US Government that is attempting to bring down the US from within. Yes, Kermit “Al-Mofuzzed” Frog, one of Bush’s top advisors, is the mastermind behind it all. I’m surprised that Bush would allow someone who vehemently supports “Felt Marriage” would be included in such an important position.

I believe the facts will support the following are in high-level positions within their respective departments:

Oscar the Grouch, Department of Interior
Link Hogthrob, NASA (Pigs in Space, indeed…)
Miss Piggy, Department of the Treasury
Dr. Bunson Honeydew, Science Advisor
Beeker, Advisor to the Science Advisor
Flying Zucchini Brothers, NSA
The Great Gonzo, State Department
Count von Count, Department of Education
Elmo, FBI
Snuffleupagus, CIA (being invisible is the only rational choice in the bunch)
Cookie Monster, Department of Commerce
Bert and Ernie, US Delegation to the United Nations

I will not rest until I get to the bottom of this, or get distracted by something shiny…


EGL said...

Aren't Bert and Ernie were in charge of enforcing the Defense of Marriage Act? Maybe I was mis-informed.

jazz said...

i love beeker!

highcontrast said...

Kermit “Al-Mofuzzed” Frog....
You KNOW Miss Piggy would be more suited for Secretary of State than Condi is....

Miladysa said...

I'm not buying this - it there was muppet involvement the whole thing would be a lot more organised :)

'felt marriage' roflmaohms!!

Bhakti said...

I love ANIMAL--the drumming muppet!

P.S. I'm glad you visited my site--we have the same sense of humor (at least it seems that way to me!)

I'm going to link to you!

Let's do a link exchange, okay?

p.p.s. I LOVE David Sedaris. The only time I ever saw people laughing on the subways in NYC was when Naked came out. You always knew someone was reading that book when they just burst into laughter out of the blue!

:) Cheers!