Slap & Tickle

What Gives…?

So Bush has nominated White House Counsel Harriet Miers to be on the Supreme Court. Once again George finds the least experienced to fill a position of great responsibility. He just won’t be satisfied until the entire country is in ruins… and then he’ll say he warned us in advance.

What scares me most about Ms. Miers is neither the fact that she is a hard-right conservative, nor the fact that she wants to repeal Roe v. Wade… no, what scares me is that she said President Bush is “the most brilliant man [I’ve] ever met.”

What the...?

What is he showing these people that he does not show the rest of the world? And if he’s so “brilliant” how come we never see any evidence?

My theory is: he’s really not that smart, they are all just really stoned and he’s the one who can still talk. You’ve been there*: you’re all baked and some guy is rambling on about the universe and it’s all on the tip of a pin and your mind just explodes. The White House is just a big smoke out and Bush rambles on and everyone listens:

George: Dude… what if we invade Iraq? We could have ALL the oil—and they hate Saddam as much as we do, so we’d be, like, heroes or something.
Rice: That is SO wicked cool… you’re like… smart… and stuff…
Cheney: I’m so wasted I can’t feel my heart attack!

[they all laugh… until Laura walks in the room]

Rove: Dude, you’re so busted!
Laura: What have I told you about smoking out in the oval office? George, put on your pants. Condi, where’s your bra? And would someone find the defibrillator for Dick…

It all makes sense, doesn't it?** It’s the only explanation.


*admit it… if only to yourself.
** Of course it does.