Tuesday, October 11, 2005

“Dye Pack©”
So, Scooter and I were talking about guys the other day, (and this is unique because…?) andwe were trying to find a word to describe when we first see an amazing looking guy. I used to call them“my pants just got real tight guys” (subtle, no?) But it’s not always appropriate… especially if the guy is standing within ear-shot. We wanted something along the line of “anyways…” which is gay-code for “Ooh, look at him!*

After careful thought and much test marketing** we came up with “dye-pack©.” (We got the idea from when we both used to work in banks and secretly wished to get robbed so we could put those cool dye-packs along with the money in the bag*** that would explode an unwashable ink to ruin the money and thwart the criminals.)****

So, whenever you see a handsome young man walk by you can look at your friend, smile and say, “dye-pack.” Ladies, you can use it too! I’m afraid I have to draw the line at straight-boys using it. You go and find your own way to express yourself (I’ve been in enough locker rooms***** to know you guys already have eight billion ways to describe anything and everything sexual).

So, go forth my reader(s) and use it at will.

*Often used when Mr. Right walks by and you’re gossiping about someone: “…and she was all up in my grill and I was like, “Look, be-yatch, don’t you be messin’ wit my man…” [Hottie McHotterstein walks by] “…anyway.” See? Brilliant! However, it got so overused that it’s lost it’s meaning.

**there was no test marketing, but you knew that, right? Of course, right.

*** You know the kind, the one with the giant dollar signs on the side.

****1) neither of us really wished to be robbed (because we’d pee in our pants), 2) neither bank used those cool dye-packs, and 3) I would never use the word “thwart,” but Scooter would.

*****not in a good way.

For those of you who are wondering... his name is Josh Wald--and he's a total dye-pack!


Miladysa said...

Smitten eh?

Dye-pack - I shall introduce this term to the girls for the creme de la creme. I know that it is going to be hard though - to sway them from 'Top Totty' and 'Fit Bit' but I shall endeavour to succeed :)

highcontrast said...

that's pretty good.
i shouldn't be divulging this b/c it works so well...but me and my best buddy use "i'm hungry". if a hottie walks past, "are you hungry?" "Um, yes I'm suddenly starving"

Chris said...

I like 'fit bit'...

And "are you hungry?" is pure genius.

If I use those along with 'dye-pack' I think I'll have a good assortment of choice phrases to band about while leering with friends.

alannajoy said...

Yowza, Is there such a thing as a MEGA Dye-Pack? Cuz this pretty boy definitely dye's my pack...er...you get what Im sayin...He's one friendly looker. =)

Michael said...

Thanks for the phrase because at work it will make my life soooo much eaiser :) Granted, if any customer has read your posting here...I may be in trouble;)

Hm....think I had about 3 dyepacks this morning in the shop! (let us hope they come back)