Thursday, February 21, 2008

Are You There God?

OOOH! Get Her!

Shlomo “The Schmuck-o” Benizri, an ultra-Orthodox Jewish member of the Knesset, believes that homosexuality causes earthquakes. Yes, this bribe-taking politician is pointing his finger at gays for causing earthquakes.

Again, I am forced to reiterate my position on God and Natural Disasters: If God so hated gays, gambling, sex, decadence, etc. then why is Las Vegas still here? Seems to me that an awful lot of nasty stuff happens in Israel every year—God seems to allow that to happen on a pretty regular basis… daily, even.

On the Religious Nuts-o Meter, this puts Schmuck-o almost at the level of those douche bags at Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas (where else?). I say almost, because when contacted about the comments from the ultra-Orthodox Jew Benizri, the Christianazi spokesperson Shirley Phelps-Roper stated, "God bless his little God-hating heart." Even united in their hatred of the gays, that c*nt can’t let go of her hatred of the Jews!

I think I have the solution: All we need to do is step back a bit and let them kill each other. However, we need to pull the bright light off of us, so they can start looking around for their next target. Okay… so first, we have to come up with some sort of “cure” for being gay. No, not really. Just say there is a cure. They believe in that ex-gay crap, they’ll buy a cure in a pill form. We only have to fake it for about a week because you know they will go after each other in a heartbeat. Afterwards, we’ll throw a FABulous party…

…and dance on their graves!*

*Kidding. I’m kidding… I’ll pee on them. No… no… well… maybe.

1 comment:

Michele said...

Gays cause earthquakes? Is that like having a superpower or something? Chris, you're a Hero! Too bad your power isn't the ability to make ignorant, hateful people turn into tacos. I like tacos.