For Michelle

My friend Michele missed out on much of the Beijing Olympics because she lives in Norway and it was not covered as obsessively as it is in the U.S. (NBC paid $500 million for the rights, you'd better believe they were going to show it non-stop). I love the Olympics. The pomp. The circumstance. The pagentry.

Here are some amazing images from the games that will stick with me. I grabbed most of them from This is Life blog. It's great and I suggest you check it out as it's always worth a visit.

Hold Onto Your Socks...

...this is hysterical.


Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans

“No way. No how. No McCain.”

Hillary Clinton knocked it out of the ballpark last night. Her speech at the DNC Convention in Denver was brilliant and effective. While not a personal endorsement of Barak Obama, she laid out in VERY clear terms why her supporters need to vote for Obama:

“Were you in this campaign just for me? Were you in it for that young Marine and others like him? Were you in it for that mom struggling with cancer while raising her kids? Were you in it for that boy and his mom surviving on the minimum wage? Were you in it for all the people in this country who feel invisible?”

I continue to shake my head in wonder at those ‘spoiled children’ that won’t vote for Obama because he beat Hillary. Or—more aptly—will vote for McCain because he’s not Obama (who beat Hillary). I was eight when I first understood the idiocy of cutting off my nose to spite my face—yet, these people continue on that path. Thank you, Hillary for letting your supporters know that to vote for McCain is a disservice to you and all you’ve worked for:

“I haven’t spent the past 35 years in the trenches advocating for children, campaigning for universal health care, helping parents balance work and family, and fighting for women’s rights at home and around the world … to see another Republican in the White House squander the promise of our country and the hopes of our people.”

Brava!

There were some nice touches, the “No way. No how. No McCain” being at the top of the list. I also thought her “Sisterhood of the travelling pantsuits” to be particularly amusing. She seemed to be in her element last night and I know that if she had been the nominee she would have made a fine president (and still can someday).

However, now it is Barak’s time. We need to get out there and vote for him to put this country on its intended path and to right the many wrongs of the last eight years.

Goofus

The Daily Kos has a great list of reasons John McCain can use the above card. It keeps growing... and growing... and growing...

YIKES!!!



From the always amazing Fail blog.

"Ho, Superquiz!"

Years ago--almost 25 to be exact--my friends and I would kill the long hours of work by playing Superquiz in the morning paper. It was never planned... whomever was reading the paper would come across the section and shout, "Ho, Superquiz!"

Later, I adapted this to my printed 'zine and the emailed precursor to this blog. Well, it's time to bring back the Slap & Tickle Superquiz.

As the image below suggests, "can you guess all these movies from just these letters?" Click on the image to make it bigger.

There are 46 answers... you might win a prize if you get them all right.*




*but most likely not.

Mondays

The good news: there was a major power outage and work was plunged into darkness and we got to go home early.

The bad news: never got to post anything for Monday.

The great news: I found this:



And if you get a chance, check out this bit of Muppet brilliance!

McCain Served by Hilton... Laughs Ensue.

I'm sure you've heard Kathy Hilton's response to that McCain ad that used Paris' image to mock Obama. I think Joel McHale from The Soup put it best:

Comcast Not that into Phelps


Check out the screen shot from Comcast for Michael Phelps after he won his fifth gold medal of the Beijing Olympics (he has since won another). Apparently, he's not as pretty as Ryan Lochte, but you'd think they could at least put his full face on their website...

Olympic Champions Quiz

Head on over to Miss Cellania and take her US Olympians Quiz. I got 11 of 15 right. Not great, but not too bad.

Spank Bank Friday

His name is Koji Murofushi an Olympic Hammer Thrower from Japan. Normally, not into Asian guys--not racist, just a preference--but Koji (along with his amazing legs) is a definite exception (along with Yun-Fat Chow). Check out my new love below.

Bloodtype? Weird... still hot, but weird

Way Cool


Check out this video from the BBC on taxi, air, boat, and phone traffic around London and the UK. Amazing.

Olympic Up Close & Personal:
Alvaro Paseyro

Sport: Judo
Country: Uruguay
Hotness: Gold Medal

Alvaro Paseyro was the Uruguayan Judo contestant in the x weight class at the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney. He may have come in fifth at the Olympics, but he’s on top of my list as a stud. He can body-slam me anytime.




From what I've read--and there's not much out there--he hurt his back and isn't "Judo-ing"* anymore. Hopefully, he's still gorgeous. Well, in my mind he is... and he has an accent!

I'll comment on the current Olympics some other time... I'd do it now, but Michael Phelps is about to knock off another Olympic record...

And if anyone knows the music in this video, I'd love to know what it is.



*What is the term for that? Wresting has wrestlers, ball games have players, what does one call someone who participates in Judo?

Spank Bank Friday

You know, in the after-glow of my Olympic Opening Ceremonies Orgasm, I've neglected to put up a proper SBF. So, for those of you who are feeling a little left out on the Obvious Eye-Candy (i.e. dudes that have amazing bodies not because their athletic, but because they are man-whores*), here's something to chew on for the weekend:



Why's he pointing that way, when he's clearly looking over here?

*Not that I would call either of these upstanding gentlemen "man-whores"... but if they are, my number is: (408) 429 -

From The Temple of Hera...








...the Olympic Flame has been lit--which we won't see until late tonight PDT--and the games have begun. As we look forward to the Olympic Games in Beijing, a final look back at some of my favorite pics from the countdown:

For Jill...

I bet you can't tell which country I'll be rooting for...

Hint: USA! USA! USA!

“Let the Games Begin!”

With the opening ceremony for the 29th Olympiad of the Modern Era set to commence in Beijing just hours from now*, here are a few opening ceremonies/cauldron lighting moments from the last ten Olympiads (plus, London 1948 and a little bit 'o somethin' special).

7 Years in the making, 31 New Venues, 205 Countries, 10,000 Athletes; all intersecting at one amazing moment:



Athens – 2004


(The Giant Doobie)



Sydney – 2000


(Note: when the cauldron is shaking that’s the guys inside kicking the crap out of the thing to get it to move)



Atlanta – 1996


(Sniff.)



Barcelona – 1992


(Best. Lighting. Ever.)



Seoul – 1988



Los Angeles – 1984



Moscow – 1980


(Never saw this before… kinda glad I missed it.)



Montreal – 1976



Munich – 1972


(No actual video… just stills.)



Mexico City – 1968



London – 1948



BBC Grandstand for Atlanta


(Gone with the Wind, surprisingly “American”)



And a little Olympic eye-candy!


(hubba-hubba)


















*by now the cauldron is lit and everyone in China has gone to bed.

Olympic Countdown: One Day More!

With one day more to go, let's look at the fine gentlemen who play Water Polo. Yes, let's look... and drool.

Lose the hat... keep the ball.

Yes, please.

So... what's happening under the water?

Holy moly...

Woof!

He can grab ahold of me anytime!

What are they thinking about while playing with their mouths...

Huddle close boys!

Lemons & Sugar...

Someone sent me this and suggested this should be taped to my bathroom mirror where I could read it every day.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.


2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.


3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.


4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.


5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.


6. You mean the world to someone.


7. You are special and unique.


8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.


9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.


10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.


11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

'Whenever god closes one door he always opens another, even though sometimes it's hell in the hallway'

Happiness keeps you sweet,
Trials keep you strong,
Sorrows keep you human,
Life keeps you humble,
Success keeps you glowing,
But only friends keep you going


Sniff… pretty sweet, eh? But I’m not sweet. I’m lemony. I taste good, but there’s a bitterness there that is so intrinsic to my personality. So, I feel I must comment on the above. If you’re a sweet person—and I’m sure you are—read no further. Bask in the glow of the inspiring words above. If you’re an asshole like me, read on, bitches!

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for… and 10 others you would like to see dead.


2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way… but you have to pay them for it.
   
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you… or your an asshole. But keep thinking it’s their problem.


4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you… unless you have one of those creepy smiles that makes them feel uneasy.


5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep… and all the ways they want to kick your ass.


6. You mean the world to someone… Someone you couldn’t care less about, but it’s someone.


7. You are special and unique… Just like everyone else!


8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you… Which is why you shouldn’t post naked pics of yourself online.


9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it… Usually for someone else.


10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look… It’s actually attempting to hunt you down.


11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks… But if you forget them, you’ll won’t be able to get even with those bastards that made those rude remarks.

Happiness makes you soft,
Trials keep you strong,
Sorrows make you week,
Life kicks you in the ass,
Success is the best revenge,
But only friends test your patience in a way you wouldn’t put up with from a lover no matter how good the sex is… which means friends are good. See? I’m not such a rat-bastard after all. Just don’t ask any of my friends.

Wha...?

You know, everytime I think "Kids today... back in my day we knew a thing or two about subtlety and sex." Well, then I see things like this and realize that kids have been crazy all along:



Jill, since I'm not posting any hot women Olympic athletes as you suggested, hopefully, this will do.

Olympic Countdown: Two Days!


With only two days left until the 2008 Olympics, it's time to look at the grace, beauty, precision and hotness of the divers:

Such grace.

Look at that form...
(check out that package!)

Sweet!

Perfect alignment

Keep those toes pointed, ladies!

Awesome...

Is he supposed to look like that?

This doesn't look like it's going to end well...

Damnit.

I can't believe she did this... now I kind of like her.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die